The Provocateurs, Part 2

an update from Jill

2008-03-15T17:12:00.000-07:00

I have been very, very bad with writing ever since the Yahoo blog (The Provocateurs) ended. I liked having deadlines. And there has been so much to talk about: My time at the TED conference, Client number 9, and... making my "nextrecord" goal!

I actually can't believe I did it. I thought maybe I would get half that amount. Or, there was the fear that I would embarrass myself, and just my mom, my cousin Steven and my two loyal fans from Germany would donate. I am so, so grateful.

I didn't realize the press I would get (CNN, MSNBC, New York Times, and more). Most people saw it as a good and interesting new model for artists. Of course, there were a couple of naysayers and curmudgeons. I know it's not healthy to google yourself, find nasty blog comments, and then write to defend yourself, but I did. Usually it's best to leave them alone, so they don't think you care, or that they are important enough. I have to say, with the exception of one big asshole, I got back very favorable responses. Especially on the prog rock site, where he did admit to not wanting to offend any girl that would ever visit such a site.

Here were a few of their responses:

"I may have been a bit unfair in my caustic assessment of her career. After she commented, I did some due diligence and checked out some of her post-1995 albums. They're not as Kate Bush or Elliott Smith as I would personally like, but they're fairly interesting and way better than Jewel."

By the way, he did then donate $10.

"Sorry for the way I was on the Birds and Moons thread regarding your album financing... some of us are just a bunch of 'never was beens' and I'm sure there's more than a touch of jealousy on our side.... the more I read it, it was pretty petty."

My favorite comment on my donation site was:

"I am donating, not because of the music (the music is good, but not really my kind of music), but because I think it is a worthy project. The idea of using the Internet to get small donations from a lot of people is great, and once you have a small fan base it is doable. So I am giving a small tip in the hope that you one day make a great album."

Oh, I should add that Perez Hilton, that beacon of grace and light, put up a very unflattering picture of me with dollar signs, insinuating that I was desperate and begging. And all he knew was I Kissed a Girl. I was kinda bummed until the next morning when I saw the tote board had risen big time. So, it's either thank you or fuck you, fatty.

Now that I am off Yahoo, I can say "fuck you fatty."

Just leave it to me to pick out the very few negative things when I received so much love and support. I guess it was to point out that good can come out of something bad, or that I was born Jewish.

Enough about me. On the Provocateurs, we dealt with the election a bunch. In one way, I am glad to have taken a breather from it all. It has become so friggin' ugly – from Geraldine Ferraro to the hoopla about Obama's pastor. I am cringing at the news that there will be two more debates. I just want it over. I bet the Republicans are loving every moment of this.

Thoughts?

Every year I go to the TED conference, which is hard to explain, but has really made a huge impact in my life. It is like going to 4 day master class with the smartest and coolest people in the world (cool, in the sense of people doing creative and good things for our planet. In fact, no one dressed very "cool").

Here is a video, just posted on the TED website, of one of my favorite speakers this year. Jill Bolte Taylor. She, as she describes, had the great luck and opportunity, as a brain scientist, to have experienced herself a massive stroke. You have to see this:

Back to me. If you are interested, here is a TED talk from 2 years ago debuting the song Manhattan in January. Notice the ovation from Al Gore at the end?

Anyway, you can comment on my MySpace blog and/or on the transitional Provocateurs site.

Cheers, jill

=

Gay Public Bathroom Etiquette: An Interview with Kevin Posey

2008-02-28T14:33:00.000-08:00

(This post was supposed to be published around the time of the Larry Craig scandal - around Oct 1, 2007 - but it was too racy. Hmmm, I wonder why?)

At first I was amused. Another Republican Senator caught in a seedy homo act! And one who had voted in a hypocritical and self-hating way on marriage and hate crimes. I was amazed at the press conference where Larry Craig professed that he wasn't gay, over and over again. I laughed at the parodies of the scene from the Minneapolis airport bathroom stalls.

But then I started getting tired of it, and angry. Especially
after reading about all the right-wing pols and commentators foaming at the mouth trying to distance themselves from him--like playing footsie in a public bathroom is way worse than Senators aiding and abetting a corrupt and criminal administration.

Plus, I kind of feel sorry for Sen. Craig, that he had to lead a double and closeted life. How horrible must that be? I know, I know, the Foleys and the Haggards get what they deserve, but still... I think it's tired and cheap to keep poking fun.

The family-values bloggers have been using the Larry Craig incident to confirm their fear and loathing of gay men as sinful sexual predators. Sadly, since the Senator didn't feel like he could carry out his business openly (on, say, the Rosie Cruise) he had to be sneaky and yucky about it. But that doesn't mean he's a predator. He was looking for other gay men who knew the protocol, which includes the foot-tapping undercover cop who arrested him. Shouldn't he have been looking out for terrorists instead of closeted old gay men?

Anyway, this whole thing has got me wondering: What exactly is the protocol for sex in a public bathroom? I decided to ask fellow musician and makeup artist to the rock stars, Kevin Posey. I somehow thought he would know.

Jill: Kevin, if I was a closeted gay Republican who wanted sex in the Minneapolis airport bathroom, how would I get to it?

Kevin: Well, Jill, if you happened to be a closeted gay Republican looking to get your rocks off in a public forum, you would just need to decide a couple of things. First: shopping mall, or any type of mass transit venue? I'm not certain what it is about these specific places that brings out the gay in guys but I have a few theories. Shopping with their girlfriends or wives leaves them bored, as they've suppressed the "gay" gene so hardcore over the years they can't relate to shopping and therefore must go to their most base animal instinct: f***ing. Traveling tends to make everyone anxious, and the need to go to the loo occurs more often due to anxiety. And nothing relieves tension like busting a nut.

Jill: Let's move forward and say you've chosen your bathroom locale, as I don't want to lose sight of the objective here--which is getting your faux closeted Republican ass some action!

Kevin: If you want to engage in more than a simple stroke fest with a buddy, I suggest that when you enter the restroom, you walk past the urinals when you and pick a stall--any stall will do. If you aren't a germ-phobic closeted 'mo, sit your horny ass down. If you are, put down one of those weird toilet-seat-shaped covers and then sit your ass down....and wait. Eventually someone will sit down in the stall beside you. Once that occurs, it will soon obvious by scent and sound whether they are there for the real reason the restroom was invented, or for a little man-on-man action.

Jill: Are their certain signs or codes one would give to indicate his preferences?

Kevin: The signs that "it's on" are so varied -- but let's focus on the basics. The one that got our dear old friend in trouble is a tried and true method of gettin' some in a restroom: the foot tap. The foot tap should occur with the tapper's foot slightly invading the other stall... then you wait... then, if the other person taps his foot, proceed. The next action depends on whether you are a top or bottom.

If you choose to reach a hand under or roll a finger along the bottom of the stall divider, you'll be offering up your hand (or mouth and I've even heard ass! though I'm unsure of how this actually occurs by constraints of space). This would put you in the submissive position. If you prefer being serviced, then you sit and wait it out till someone offers up said hand or finger... then give that bitch what he wants!

This will absolutely assure you some action and possibly an arrest if the police are feeling like a little entrapment that day, as there is absolutely no way that anyone following these steps --especially if they have so much to lose--would ever engage in anything without the go-ahead from the other side. Well, unless they happen to be high on meth and then that's a completely different subject altogether and a far more destructive element in our culture than someone trying to get off!

Jill: So, would you say most the men cruising, in these public places, are sad closeted married men, or out gay men who just find that kind of pickup sexy?

Kevin: I have to say that the peeps looking for "love" in the restroom setting are a varied mix of older closeted Republican fart knockers who have voted against the core of who they are, gay boys out and proud but looking for a little kink, jock straight (or str8) guys who want to re-live a bit of the old locker room stroke fest they had in high school or college, and everything in between, really... dudes are horny retards when it comes to their wieners and honestly will nut whenever the need arises... pun intended!

Jill: Have you ever engaged?

Kevin: Yes, and I have a ton of reasons why... I am a kinky weirdo that gets off on the thought of some stud blowing me and then leaving the bathroom to finish shopping with his wife or girlfriend... it makes me feel sexy. I am more of a rub one out with a bud at the urinal though as that was something I did as a young guy in school first realizing I liked guys.

I would like to say that just because this sort of thing occurs it absolutely does not mean that I, Mr. Craig, or (most) any other person engaging in this particular past time is out to f*** some infant up the butt! I mean... give me a break, already. My being a proud gay man with a perverted streak does not mean that I am a lecherous turd or a blight on society. If being supportive of a corrupt government makes me an upright citizen then I prefer to be on the fringe please... and thank you.

Jill: Thanks Kevin. This has been a swell time and educational too.

So Long For Now, The Provacateurs

2008-02-28T14:29:00.000-08:00

(Final post by Jill and Michelle on Feb 25, 2008)

Well, we kind of knew it was coming. We didn't quite fit. We were a square peg in a round hole (or is it the other way around). But it was a good idea --to mix music with politics and social issues. I knew we could never compete with the popularity of posts on, say American Idol or Britney (although I did do one semi-pandering one on her--and had to quote NPR, so as to not appear that…desperate), but we were happy to stay as long as we did.

I had a great time. Yahoo pretty much allowed us to write whatever we wanted--except for the dirty post by my friend Kevin, after the Larry Craig incident, on the etiquette and joys of gay public restroom sex. Admittedly it was a stretch.

I got to hear and converse with people that I would never, on my own blog, encounter. What's the point of preaching to the converted? On our last post on Evangelicals and gays, we did encounter some nut jobs, but we also heard from intelligent and thoughtful Christians. We actually had peaceful dialogue, which is so rare in these black and white days. And that's what I hoped to do. I learned so much from the commenters (by the way, is commenters a word? Spell check gets me anytime I type it).

So, I want to thank Yahoo (especially Bob), and all of you for these last six months. I learned; I had fun, and actually became sort of disciplined.

Don’t fret, for one day soon we shall rise like the Phoenix, rise like Lazarus, and rise like John Travolta did after he did Pulp Fiction. You have not heard the last of The Provocateurs. Or as a Martin Mull lyric goes:

“It's so hard to say Au Revoir

So Let's just say Hors D'ouerves."

In the meantime you can go to my myspace or jillsobule.com (on jillsobule.com there is no place to comment, but that will soon change). And don't forget jillsnextrecord.com (I might add a place to talk there too). I think I need to consolidate-–does anyone out there have any suggestions?

I will end with this song sung by Tom Waits:"somewhere "

And now, I will have Michelle Lewis, the other Provocateur, bid you a Yahoo Music goodbye.

Michelle?

Hi... I have the odd sensation of speaking at one's own funeral right now. Must shake that off ...

One of the many great things about being friends with Jill Sobule is that, when you're with her, you often end up someplace you never imagined being. My short list of random, unimaginable places includes an activist poetry reading, Norman Lear's private jet and a recording studio with Arianna Huffington. You get the picture...

So when Jill was over at my house last summer and was telling me about this music and politics blog she might be doing on Yahoo Music, I readily volunteered to help (did she even ask for help? my memory is fuzzy on this). I had no real blogging experience, but I did have a laptop and an opinion... about music...AND politics. Also, since I was on a kind of maternity leave from my "day job" as a pop songwriter, I knew I wasn't going a-n-y-w-h-e-r-e soon. Therefore, I could hold the fort and keep things rolling whenever Jill was on tour or something.

Looking back on the early Provocateurs' planning meetings with Yahoo, I realize now what we were thinking--we thought that getting a blog was like getting your own TV chat show or variety show. We thought ours would be like The Daily Show meets Donnie And Marie. We had big plans for regular segments, guest stars, video interludes and of course, a theme song. We are still the only blog on Yahoo Music with its own theme song--which I will post here one last time for posterity:

Jill Sobule & The Provocateurs: "The Provocateurs Theme Song " (MP3, 1:07)

I also remember our friends at Yahoo looking at us as the meetings progressed with somewhat concerned looks on their faces... as in... "You guys still don't really know what you're doing here? Do you?" Well, um, no. But we were having fun--making up songs about topical events and picking friendly fights with some of our more conservative readers (aaah, good times).We also were having some truly memorable conversations and meeting some truly wonderful folks.

Now that the Provocateurs, Part One is ending, I'm realizing that maybe Part Two SHOULD be a TV show!!! What do you think, Jill? Should we start pitching it?

OK, so while we're taking meetings at CAA, we'll also be archiving our 6 months of posts (and maybe posting some new ones) here.

Rock on....xoxo - Michelle

Evangelicals less tweaked about Homosexuals?

2008-02-28T14:28:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Feb 18, 2008)

It used to be that gay marriage was the big scary thing that the Republicans (Bush and Rove) could use to galvanize the reborn or evangelical vote. The fear of, for example, two men saying I do, promising to love each other forever and having a kick ass yet tasteful wedding party, might just have cost Gore and Kerry the elections.

Now there are signs that this Christian community has become more diverse and maybe less focused on the traditional hot button issues (abortion and gay marriage). There are growing concerns about the war, torture, the environment and social justice – not very Pat Robertson or Dr. Dobson like.

A recent poll by Beliefnet showed that 80-percent of respondents saw reducing poverty as "very important", where as only 49- percent chose stopping gay marriage.

It seems also that the younger generation is not as judgmental, threatened. They probably all have seen old episodes of Will and Grace or the Ellen show; they probably all have a friend who bought a Rufus Wainwright or a Scissor Sisters CD.

Jim Wallis, an influential progressive evangelical stated "The religious right, their dominance is finished, their monologue is over. They have a voice, but they're not the only voice now."

What is happening when even a former Republican sports star ( a profile not known for pro-gay pronouncements) is calling for a change in the guard? My new hero, Charles Barkley, in an interview last week, on reasons why he is supporting Obama:

"I've got great respect for Sen. McCain, great respect, but I don't like the way Republicans have taken this country," said Barkley. "Every time I hear the word 'conservative,' it makes me sick to my stomach, because they're really just fake Christians, as I call them. That's all they are."
"I think they want to be judge and jury," Barkley said. "Like, I'm for gay marriage. It's none of my business if gay people want to get married. I'm pro-choice. And I think these Christians; first of all, they're not supposed to judge other people. But they're the most hypocritical judge of people we have in the country. And it bugs the hell out of me. They act like they're Christians. They're not forgiving at all."

We here on Yahoo Music have a very diverse crowd. I wonder what our Christian readers think.

Vibrator Laws Suck. Free The Rabbit!

2008-02-28T14:19:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Feb 19, 2008)

On one of my last Yahoo blogs, I posted about the insanity of our drug laws - specifically mandatory minimums and three strikes. Many of the commentors had no sympathy and disagreed - "if you know its illegal, don't f**king do it. You do the crime, you do the time."

Well, what about this law?

"Alabama's Anti-Obscenity Enforcement Act prohibits, among other things, the commercial distribution of 'any device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs for any thing of pecuniary value.'"

Alabama is a vibrator – free state! That's settles it. That is where I am going to raise my family.

So, you can sell a semiautomatic rifle to a depressed teen, but if they catch you (under the table at the gun store) also peddling the latest Hello Kitty pocket rocket or dildo, you are going to the slammer, buddy!
That's right, folks, " You do the crime, you do the time."
Seriously, you could actually get a year in jail and a $10,000 fine.

There is one loophole through:

"The law contains an exception for sexual devices sold for medical and scientific purposes, and many adult stores have continued sales after posting signs saying their merchandise falls within the exceptions."

I want to know what “medical and scientific purposes” they came up with for peddling the "Daring Dolphin", the "Turbo Stroker", and of course…"the bend-over beginning kit".

I also bring up this unjust law as, last week, a federal appeals court overturned a statute outlawing sex toy sales in Texas. So now it's just Mississippi and Alabama.
So, I say instead of all this anti-war and campaign nonsense, we do something for our oppressed brothers in the Cotton State.
Let's all go down to Huntsville and do a "rabbit" freedom march.
Are you all with me???

FREE THE RABBIT!

(for those that don't know - the Rabbit is a best selling vibrator that, I just saw, has it's own Wikipedia entry)

Pro-Anorexia songs? "Lucy at the Gym" and "Supermodel"

2008-02-28T12:04:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Feb 13, 2008)

A couple of months ago, I Googled myself (not the coolest thing to do). It's surprising and strange what comes up, especially when checking out the blogs. Some of the more interesting, or rather disturbing hits I get, are on "pro-ana" sites. Now, for the unaware - and I was until I found two of my songs listed as "thinspiration" - pro-ana sites are forums for mostly young girls who have anorexia or bulimia... and see it as a good thing.

They are pretty stunning and...very twisted. They have adoring pictures of rail-thin celebrities like the Olsen Twins and Posh Spice. There are recipes (?) and tips on suppressing hunger pains: "You can train yourself to forget hunger by gently punching your stomach every time you get hungry because you'll hurt too bad to eat."

I think now I should tell you that I, Jill of Provocateur semi-fame, suffered with an eating disorder in the 80s. It was miserable, and a waste of six years. However, it has, as well as other youthful troubles, made me who I am today. My art and song-writing, I am sure, has also been marked by those years. "Lucy at the gym", and "Supermodel"(from the movie, Clueless), would not have been born, if not for it.

So, Lucy, the star of my song, is a girl who won't eat and can't stop exercising. I have great empathy for her, but this is no "pro-ana" song - in fact, quite the opposite. I was curious why some saw it as such, so I emailed Terra Atril, who writes eatingdisorder.com, on why she added the song to her top 10 list of "pro-ana" songs. Here's what she said:

"Well, I could put some real thought into this, or I could go with instinct basically just blame it on a cross between the lyrics and young-eating-disordered minds being fickle. People truly in the thick of an eating disorder have a combination of suicidal tendencies and god complex. "Lucy" is a character who can be seen as a deity, an example of how to live, and maybe die."

Amazing. But what is also of interest is how thoughtful and smart this "pro-ana" Terra Atril is. She went on to say:

"people read into lyrics BIG TIME and people with mental illnesses, especially, are capable of seeing any meaning possible from literally any combination of words. Another example I didn't include would be Radiohead's 'Creep'. It's obviously not about eating disorders, but the lines, "I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul," just hits people the right way, I suppose.
I was originally planning on the inclusion of "Supermodel," but "Lucy...." just seemed more apt and what the masses (as it were) would be looking for. Plus, "Supermodel" could be construed too easily as tongue-in-cheek and honestly, the last thing people with eating disorders need is to feel mocked."

By the way, other "pro-ana" songs on the list were "Ana's Song" by Silverchair and Fiona Apple's "Paper Bag".

Now before I gross you out with a youtube video of "Lucy at The Gym" posted by some poor sick girl, I should tell you that the song has also been used in a more positive therapeutic way. In February, which by the way is Eating Disorder Awareness Month, a director from an eating disorder clinic asked permission to use the song:

"I think that "Lucy at the Gym" is a very powerful song. I am using it in a slideshow to illustrate to others what it feels like to have an eating disorder. I think it is the perfect song because of the honest depiction of "Lucy". I think the song along with pictures of calorie counts, the word diet in cereal, and the scale show the real torment of eating disorders. I am planning on showing the slideshow in a presentation at the University of Texas at El Paso.
I hope to use the song to assist in raising awareness and promote the prevention of eating disorders."

Phew! Well, at least most people, I hope, get the intention of the song. Anyway, here's the lyric to "Lucy at the Gym", followed by a completely disturbing video. And, no I don't approve of this youtube.

Lucy at the gym. She's there every time I go
and I don't go that often, so she must live at the gym
I stare at her ribs they show through the spandex
Her little legs are working, she's going somewhere
She's climbing up the stairs and when she reaches the top
her dreams will be there

Lucy at the gym. Lucy on the scale for the third time
Thru thick and thin, Lucy's at the gym
She's staring at the clock and like the 2nd hand she never stops
She's Lucy at the gym

When she takes a shower, after all the hours
Does she have a place to go.Is there someone waiting
Or is Lucy all alone

I'm at the gym and Lucy's not there
It's got me kinda worried so I imagine the worst
She's made it up to heaven
And when she met her maker, he said "come right in"
"I'll show you around the gym"
"Everyone's beautiful and thin"
"And here there's no sin, and your life can begin
Lucy at the gym"

Grammy Awards Voter Fatigue

2008-02-28T12:03:00.000-08:00

(Originally Posted by Michelle on Feb 10, 2008)

Soooo, the Grammy's are on tonight. Sigh. I'm sitting here trying really hard to care. As a voting member of NARAS, I probably should care. But I didn't vote this year. I tried to. You wanna know why I didn't? It was too boring.

Seriously. It's an on-line voting process where you log on with your NARAS number, which takes you to a secret page of all the nominees and categories and their corresponding numbers, which you then darken in on your ballot as you make your choices.

The first time I logged in, I was bored by page one. I thought, "Well, maybe I just need to take a nap." So I did. A week later I tried again. This time, a spinning rainbow ball on my lap top screen was all it took to get me to decide, "f**k this, I'd rather eat a snack." Figuring the third time was the charm, I grabbed some coffee and a preemptive nosh and sat down at my computer, determined.

The thing is, I like Amy Winehouse

and Kanye and Feist, etc. But whom are we kidding here? This is pop culture we're talking about... and so, even if I don't necessarily find the artists themselves boring, these mind-numbingly banal categories make me want to slip into a boredom coma. Did you know that there is still a Best New Age Album category? New Age has been called "New Age" for almost 30 years. When does it become "Old Age"? And Best Instrumental Pop album? Really? Anyway, I bailed on voting for the third and final time, and while drinking my coffee and eating my snack, scanned the Huffington Post for info about the REAL voting we have coming up instead.

And yet, I'm not one to merely complain without offering some possible alternatives. So here are some of my suggestions for some Grammy categories that might be more fun to vote for next time...

Most Pandering Pop Song -
Best New Artist Under 12 -
Best Song as an iPod commercial -
The "Oops -we-dissed-you-when-you-were-relevant" Grammy -
Best Theme song for Republican Nominee -
Biggest Commercial Success/Critical Flop -
Biggest Critical Success/Commercial Flop -
Best Female vocal (for an actress) -
The "This-is-what the-kids-are-listening-to???" Album of the Year -

Most Cynical Album -
Best Computer Voice Narration -

Oh, wait, that one is real...check it out...

Anyway, feel free to cast your votes!

Jill added: "I will be watching the Wire instead of the Grammys"

The Britney Economy and the Real Story:

2008-02-28T12:02:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Feb 7, 2008)

I can't believe that I am writing about... Britney Spears. In fact, I never think about her at all. Whenever there is any news item on her, I automatically bypass it. . I think it is the biggest waste of news space ever. It's not that I am too snobby for tabloid scintillation. I admit I have watched the video of Amy Winehouse on the pipe-but I think she is a real talent - thus, I guess, worthy of the youtube hits. Let's me just reiterate and say that ... I don't give a f#&k about Britney Spears.

That being said, I was fascinated be by the recent report on NPR. Britney, herself, still rakes in around $9 million a year. But according to Portfolio magazine, it is "chicken feed compared with the overall Britney economy."

It estimated that a single photo of her can go for up to $100,000 or more - the exclusive bald pictures went for around $500, 000. They calculated that she makes up 20 percent of the paparazzi biz.

Britney was on the cover of the tabloids (US, People, OK!, etc.) 175 times in just 78 weeks. She has also topped the most searched on our Yahoo for six of the last seven years (I still don't get it).

The article concludes by saying the estimated Britney Economy is $110 to $120 million. Dang!

This all got me thinking: Is she a drug addict, bi-polar, or crazy like a fox? Here is my sick fantasy:

The Real Britney

Britney has finally been able to get past the camera flashes to open the front door of her Beverly Hills mansion. But not before she has randomly picked, out of the hordes, a euro-trashed looking Paparazzi named Mario to come inside with her. The door is closed. The media is all abuzz.

Britney: God, Larry that was just awful, wasn't it? Now whose move was it?

(they are in the middle of a serious chess match)

Larry, aka. Mario: How about before we do, I get an audio tape of you, with maybe a Ukrainian accent, acting insane again? That would be good for another $400,000, No?

Britney: A scathingly brilliant idea. Well let's get it over with as I do have a deadline for the Obama speech.

Larry: How is your book on String Theory going?

Britney: Checkmate!

The End

"Fame is proof that the people are gullible."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

A provocateurs quiz: Who said (and in what movie) "A Scathingly Brilliant Idea"?

a song about Super Tuesday?

2008-02-28T12:01:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Feb 5, 2008)

I have spent way too much time clicking from MSNBC to CNN and even (gulp)…Fox News. In the car, I have forsaken my ipod and favorite college music station for NPR and bad talk radio. Conversation has become one-dimensional: Experience vs. change? Limbaugh vs. McCain? It's Super Tuesday, and I can't stop yet!

This morning I was asked back on the Bryant Park Project to perform a Super Tuesday song. Since it was last minute, and as I said my muse has been on hiatus, I thought I would ask my buddy and slam poet Rives to help out.

Here it is: It's Super Tuesday

Oh, and since it was live, please ignore my mistakes.

The worst lyrics ever and…The Provocateurs' Presidential endorsement

2008-02-28T11:59:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill and Michelle on Feb 3, 2008)

I consider myself a pretty good lyricist, but I also know that I have probably written a couple of stinkers. Hopefully none of them are quite as wrong as these:

1.Sade's "Smooth Operator"

"Coast to coast
L.A. to Chicago"

(shouldn't that be...Coast to Great Lake?)

2. Madonna's "I Love New York"

"I don't like cities
But I like New York
Other places
Make me feel like a dork"

("dork" could be funny, but not by Madonna)

3. Barry Manilow's "Could it be Magic"

"Lady take me
high upon a hillside
High up where the stallion meets the sun"

(bad sexual pretty pony imagery)

4. Kiss's " C'Mon and Love Me"

"She's a dancer, a romancer/I'm a Capricorn
And she's a Cancer"

5. Paul Anka's "Having My Baby"

"Didn't have to keep it
Wouldn't put ya through it
You could have swept it from you life
But you wouldn't do it. No, you wouldn't do it
Having my baby"

Michelle adds:

6. Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps"

The line "my lovely lady lumps" made me gag a little every time.

7. Train's - "Meet Virginia"

"And she wants to be the queen
And she thinks about her scene
Pulls her hair back as she screams
I don't really wanna be the queen"

And that guy is also responsible for the most truly unforgivable line in "Drops of Jupiter" - "the best soy latte that you ever had and me."

8. Back Street Boys' - "I Want it That Way"

"Tell me why - Ain't nothing but a heartache
Tell me why - Ain't nothing but a mistake
Tell me why - I never wanna hear you say
I want it that way"

Um, what way?
Seriously, does this song make any sense to anyone? You know what? It isn't meant to. It is a well-known fact among us songwriters, that the president of the BSB's label made a major attempt at replacing those lyrics with ones that actually "meant something". The professionals were called in, one try got particularly close (by the guy who wrote "Genie in A Bottle,") but nothing beat the "English as a Second Language" lyric writing of the original Swedish songwriter. In fact, this could be a category unto itself - along with "Hit Me Baby One More Time" and "Since U Been Gone."

Finally, because our collective attention span is too short to even get to the requisite list number "10," we will turn to our friend Mike Daly for a few heavy metal gems -

9. Metallica's "For Whom the Bell Tolls"

"For a hill men will kill.
Why?"

10. Iron Maiden's "Only the Good Die Young"

"Measure your coffin,
Does in measure up to your lust?"

11 .And finally - W.A.S.P.'s "Evermore"

"Only those who stand within
Can hold the keys that let us in"

Deep.

We know it's hard to top, but we ask you, the readers, to go ahead and continue this list...
________________

And now, The Provocateurs are announcing their choice for President - Barak Obama! (like you didn't already know).

In the words of the recent LA Times endorsement:

"In the language of metaphor, Clinton is an essay, solid and reasoned; Obama is a poem, lyric and filled with possibility. Clinton would be a valuable and competent executive, but Obama matches her in substance and adds something that the nation has been missing far too long -- a sense of aspiration."

Again, lyrics come up - but good ones this time. Lyrics that can rouse the independent, the cynical artist and that ever-promising youth vote. We also think (and what do we know?) that he has a better chance of beating a Romney or McCain. So our decision is not just kumbaya, but strategic.

Our endorsement for Vice President: Hillary?

But of more importance is our choice for NFL champs - The NY Giants! We like the underdog.

added note: Sting's "If You Love Sombody Set Them Free" always skeeved me out. And a secret...I actually do like Manilow.

The Saddest Songs Ever

2008-02-28T11:57:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill and Michelle on Jan 28, 2008)

I have asked my French friend, Yves, who has been sad more than a few times (he's French), what are his favorite songs of despair, isolation, and love gone horribly wrong.

Here's his list with some sad lyrics included:

1. Hank Williams -- Alone & Forsaken
"She promised to honor, to love and obey
Each vow was a plaything that she threw away.
The darkness is falling, the sky has turned gray
A hound in the distance is starting to bey
I wonder, I wonder - what she's thinking of
Forsaken, forgotten - without any love"

2. Bright Eyes - "messenger bird song"
"so you made me come_then you sent me away_like a messenger bird_and i circled the earth_blown away in the wind_but i always returned_with some new little song_some sad story to tell_of a brief love affair_with a girl I compared to you and she failed"

3. Buck Owens - "Cryin' Time"
"I can see that far away look in your eyes
I can tell by the way you hold me, darlin'
That it won't be long before it's cryin' time"

4. Leonard Cohen - "Famous Blue Raincoat"
"Ah, the last time we saw you, you looked so much older
Your famous blue raincoat was torn at the shoulder
You'd been to the station to meet every train
And you came home without lili marlene
And you treated my woman to a flake of your life
And when she came back she was nobody's wife"

5.Beach Boys - "In My Room"
"Now it's dark and I'm alone
But I won't be afraid
In my room, in my room"

6. Billy Bragg - "The Saturday Boy"
"She never came to the phone
She was always in the bath
In the end, it took me a dictionary
To find out the meaning of unrequited
While she was giving herself for free
At a party to which I was never invited
I never understood my failings then
And I hide my humble hopes now
Thinking back she made us want her
A girl not old enough to shave her legs"

7. Patsy Cline - "Walking After Midnight"
"I'm out walking after midnight
Out in the moonlight
Just hoping maybe
You're somewhere walking
After midnight, searching for me"

8. Loudon Wainwright III - "Motel Blues"
"I'll buy you breakfast,
They'll think you're my wife
Come up to my motel room
Save my life"

9. Billie Holiday - "I'll Be Seeing You"
"I'll find you
In the morning sun
And when the night is new
I'll be looking at the moon,
But I'll be seeing you"

10. Tom Waits - "9th & Hennpin"
"And the girl behind the counter has three tattooed tears 'One for every year he's away,' she says. There's nothing wrong with her that a hundred dollars won't fix. She has that razor sadness that only gets worse. With the clang and the thunder of the Southern Pacific going by"

11. Bob Dylan - "North Country Blues"
"The summer is gone,
The ground's turning cold,
The stores one by one
they're a-foldin'.
My children will go
As soon as they grow.
Well, there ain't nothing here
now to hold them"

12. Sam Cooke - "Lost & Looking"
"Crying for my baby, crying all alone
I'm lost and calling for my baby
Baby won't you please come home
I'm lost and calling for my baby
I need you 'cause I'm so alone"

And let's not forget Oscar Wilde's timeless words -
"...in the whole of celtic myth and legend where the loveliness of the world is shown through a veil of tears..."

Thank you Yves. Well, here's a semi-list of mine (in no particular order).

1.John Prine - "Hello in There"
"Ya' know that old trees just grow stronger,
And old rivers grow wilder ev'ry day.
Old people just grow lonesome
Waiting for someone to say, 'Hello in there, hello.'"

2. Ricki Lee Jones - "Skeletons"
"Some kids like watching Saturday cartoons
Some girls listen to records all day in their rooms
But what do birds leave behind, of the wings that they came with
If a son's in a tree building model planes?
Skeletons, Skeletons"

(I'm not sure what that all means, but it bums me out)

3. The 5th Dimension - "One Last Bell to Answer"
"One less bell to answer
One less egg to fry
One less man to pick up after
I should be happy
But all I do is cry"

(It's corny, pre-feminist, but that "one less egg" gets me everytime)

4. Radiohead - "No Surprises"

"I'll take a quiet life/A handshake, some carbon monoxide."

5. Ben Folds - "Fred Jones, part 2"
"there's an awkward young shadow who waits in the hall.
Yeah, he's cleared all his things and he's put them in boxes;
things that remind him that life has been good.
Twenty-five years, he's worked at the paper,
the man's here to take him downstairs;
and "I'm sorry, Mr. Jones, it's time"

6. George Jones - "He stopped Loving Her Today"
"He stopped loving her today
They placed a wreath upon his door
And soon they'll carry him away
He stopped loving her today"

7. Danny O'Keefe - "Outlaw"
"You can try to beat the odds
By never keeping score
You can meet the Stranger's stare
You can always face the door
But you can't be an Outlaw
If you ain't wanted anymore"

(ouch)

8. Peggy Lee - "Is That All There Is"
"I know what you must be saying to yourselves,
'if that's the way she feels about it why doesn't she just end it all?'
Oh, no, not me. I'm in no hurry for that final disappointment,
For I know just as well as I'm standing here talking to you,
When that final moment comes and I'm breathing my last breath,
I'll be saying to myself,
'Is that all there is?'"

9. Joni Mitchell - "Down To You"

"Love is Gone"

10. Flight of the Conchords - "I'm Not Crying"
"These aren't tears of sadness because you're leaving me
I've just been cutting onions.
I'm making a lasagna for one
Oh, I'm not crying. No.

I could include anything sung by Mark Eitzel, Elliot Smith and Karen Carpenter. There are so many more. I could go on all day.

How about your favorite sad songs?

Giving My Inner Cynic a Time-Out

2008-02-28T11:56:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Michelle on Jan 30, 2008)

Giving My Inner-Cynic a Time Out

"It's hard to argue against cynics - they always sound smarter than optimists because they have so much evidence on their side"
Molly Ivins

"The opposite of creativity is cynicism" Esa Saarinen

As a born and raised New Yorker, born to and raised by other New Yorkers, I would have to guess that cynicism is in my DNA. It's in the water there. In fact, the reason we moved out of the city when I was 11, was that my parents realized I had already become way too jaded. ("Ugh, Lincoln Center AGAIN!?!?")

I've been thinking about the nature of cynicism a lot lately, because I've actually found myself feeling... um, what do you call it? Hopeful?!? (Full disclosure here: I have an eight month old baby, and it's HARD to be cynical around a baby... even for me!) I'm starting to feel like maybe it's time to lose the "been there, done that" attitude and maybe look forward to some things for a change...

I think Saarinen is right. As an artist of any kind, you have to be hopeful in SOME way. I mean, if I felt cynical every time I sat down to write a song, I wonder how many songs I would ever get written? So this is a song I wrote with my friends Kay Hanley and Kara DioGuardi for our band The Dilettantes, which kinda sums up what I'm trying to impart here.

The Dilettantes: "What’s To Come" (MP3, 4:19)

Now I'm not saying...you know... "drink the Kool-aid." I'm just saying, let's be open to the possibility that things can change for the better. Yes, I'm talking about the upcoming election. But I'm also talking about the Green movement, which seems to moving out of Vermont and Santa Monica and into the rest of the country. I'm talking about music, and film and television... which we now have the power to say yes or no to. ( I mean, look at what Jill has done with her website for her next record! That wouldn't have happened 5 years ago! ) Oh, the economy is rotten and we're still in Iraq and the healthcare system is completely, utterly f**ked. There's a litany of reasons to be bummed out. But let's not!

Who's with me?

addendum: after the other night's State of the Union address, I am no longer with me. But I'm going to post this anyway, because maybe you readers can tell me why you think things may be looking up (other than "cuz it can't get any worse." I've already thought of that one.

Primary Chatter with Jill and Michelle

2008-02-28T11:48:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill and Michelle on Jan 25, 2008)

From Michelle -

"I've had all I can stand, and I can't stands no more!" Popeye

Anger is an amazing motivator. Yes, it might be smarter to move into action before the emotional dial gets to "outrage", but look, everyone is busy. There's other stuff to do - like, make a living or raise your kid. Then ultimately you get to a point when the passive victim shit gets old... and while I can kvetch along with the best of them, after a while, merely complaining becomes part of the problem.

On Sunday, I went to a house party for Barack Obama - literally three houses down on my street and talked to a bunch of my neighbors...for the first time after 5 years of living here.

My neighbor Estee!

While Obama was a topic of conversation, most of us were talking about what "the point" was for them. This was no SDS meeting, not your typical activist-types... these were your average neighborhood folks - a teacher, a film producer, an ex-minister, a woman who was 8 months pregnant, etc. Their reasons were as varied as - the war in Iraq, the 2000 (stolen) election, a job loss, prohibitively expensive health care and equal marriage rights. By the way, for me, the "point" was getting a $10K bill for having a baby, WITH health insurance. Hmmph.

So here we are, on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, schmoozing about politics and the state of our state (California). You see - we've got a big primary coming up on February 5th and since CA has so many delegates, the winner could very feasibly become the Democratic nominee. There's no shoe-in...so there's a real sense that phone banking and canvassing and all those old-school grass-roots ways of getting folks elected...could actually work.

I've never worked for a candidate before. As much as I love the whole political theater thing, I'm waaaay too cynical to believe that any one politician is worth working for! Except now, I'm thinking about it. I guess this is where the anger comes in... and why I'm now personally motivated to not only vote for a guy who is everything opposite of GW Bush, but to try to get others to do the same.

By the way, the other day I heard yet another cringe-y Bush speech strangling as he was talking to a bunch of our troops in the Middle East - "When the pages of history will be written, you were on there as the winners."

This has to stop, people.

And speaking of stopping... this is from Jill:

"Stop it Bill!"

I have stood by you for years. You got a bum rap. And... there was a right-wing conspiracy. Sure you lied, but in comparison to today, it's so so quaint. I once saw a bumper sticker that said, "Come back Bill...all is forgiven". Oh, and here's one of my favorite Jon Stewart quotes: "And I will say this: Hurricane Katrina is George Bush's Monica Lewinsky. The only difference is that tens of thousands of people weren't stranded in Monica Lewinsky's vagina."

So like I said, I have always defended you (except for deregulating the media, making radio a big consolidated bore, and I could go on, however...) But even more so, I have loved the distinguished ex-prez who moved his office to Harlem and has worked for Aids and Africa. I saw you speak last year, and was truly moved, even as I aware of your ability to manipulate when seen live.

And now, here you are all red-faced, fighting dirty with Obama, and telling the press that they should be ashamed. It's not becoming; it's not as the Chinese call you, "sexy President."

Just stop it! Get off the campaign trail. You are not helping Hillary and not helping your legacy? Don't blow it.

Oh, and another thing - since The Provocateurs theme song has only been up once (on the very first post), I thought I would bring it back. We spent a lot of time on this silly song.

Jill Sobule & The Provocateurs: "The Provocateurs Theme Song " (MP3, 1:07)

"Cinnamon Girl - Women Artists Cover Neil Young"

2008-02-28T11:47:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill and Michelle on Jan 22, 2008)

"Cinnamon Girl - Women Artists Cover Neil Young"

The first song that I tried to learn the guitar solo on was Neil Young's "Down By the River." I never had heard anything quite like it before. It sounded like a cross between a machine-gun in slow motion and a rat (I'm not sure what that means). And more importantly...it sounded like I could play it - the first 4 measures were pretty much just one note.

As much as I tried, I could not imitate the kind of ham-fisted tone and beauty of that single note. To this day Neil Young is not only one of my favorite singer/songwriter types, but is also my favorite under-appreciated guitar genius.

So when I got the email asking if I wanted to contribute a song to a Neil Young tribute, I was thrilled, said yes, and knew what song I wanted to do. Plus, the compilation included other women artists who I have admired for a long time: Tanya Donelly, Kristen Hirsh, and Lori McKenna, among others.

I asked Tanya (whose "Heart of Gold beautifully opens Disk One) and Britta Phillips (whose "I Am a Child" is one of my favorites) some questions about Neil - basically, if they were Neil Young fans, and why they chose the songs they did.

Oh, by the way, I covered "Down By the River" and played the solo...on banjo.

Britta:
I have always been a big Neil Young fan. Since Jr. High School. But I had never heard "I Am A Child" before I was sent the list of available songs to cover for this compilation. I chose this song because it seemed to fit one of the styles that Dean and I have been interested in exploring on our last two albums. Neil Young's version is sort of country, but it has a definite pop element to it as well as simple but beautiful and sophisticated-sounding chord changes, like a lot of Lee Hazlewood or Bobbie Gentry songs. The music is happy and beautiful and the lyrics are a bit complex and dark. This combination always gets me. I also love the drum & bass groove and really wanted to try and recreate that soothing retro feel in my home studio. Just me and my computer. The end of the song turned into this late 60s/early 70s psychedelic/pop/country thing. I love how pop songs back then really crossed over genres.

Tanya:
His (Neil's) voice was all over my childhood - he was my folks' favorite - and then I rediscovered him for myself in my late teens, when I was ready to really hear him. I always want to hear everything he has to say. He makes me feel better. I just love this song ("Heart of Gold"). I think it's perfect, actually - structurally, lyrically, musically. There aren't very many words, but they say everything and I can relate to every single one of them. I love that such strong images and heartbreak and hope all come through in a few lines, and that harmonica is a killer. I just love it.

Right before I was about to post this, I heard back from Leigh (Watson Twins) on the haunting cover of "Powderfinger" and Darcie Miner on her fab cover of "Ohio.

Leigh:
Neil Young came to me via CSNY (Crosby, Stills, Nash &Young). I was taken by their harmonies and the intricate musical progressions. That perfect combo made me a fan not only of them as a group, but them as individual songwriters. Neil Young is a master when it comes to story telling, I think for this reason "Powderfinger" stands out in his catalog. The song also carries Neil's infamous guitar lead. We felt that trying to emulate this guitar master might be tough, so my sister and decided to recreate this hook vocally. It was fun and I feel like it really worked for our cover of the song. We slowed things down to try and make the focus the lyrics. We're from Louisville, KY, a river city, so the imagery is something that we could connect too.

Darcy Miner:
Yes, huge Neil Young fan! Harvest has been one of my favorite records forever. And I think one of the first songs I learned to play and sing was "Old Man." I chose "Ohio" because it's one of the darkest songs ever written about one of the worst things to happen in the U.S. at the time. The lyrics are fearless, and i have a deep appreciation for that.
I have a thing for the dark side i guess - ha.

"Cinnamon Girl - Women Artists Cover Neil Young" will be out Feb. 14, but I think you can order it now. Oh, all the proceeds go to CASTING FOR RECOVERY, a national non-profit support and educational program for women who have or have had breast cancer.

Side note: I asked John Doe to help out on my version of Down By the River.

He is the only boy listed. I think he may like it like that.

Help me make my next record...

2008-02-28T11:45:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Jan 18, 2008)

How would you like to be an executive producer at a promising new record company (or at least buy a tee-shirt that says you are)? What about having your own theme song? Have you ever wanted to have a concert at your house with a semi-famous singer-songwriter? And…how would you like to sing with me, despite your (possible) lack of talent, on my next big hit?

Okay, I know this blog is really not supposed to be about me. I am very happy about that…really. We have been talking a lot about politics, but because this is on a music site we touch on music too (like Huckabee's views on the Scissor Sisters).

As we all know, the music biz is in turmoil. A lot of folks are bummed out, losing jobs, and confused about what the next business model will be. But as an artist, I find this an exciting time. We can be pioneers and start having more control of our own careers. That's what I'm thinking.

A bit of history: I have put out 6 CDs and been on four labels –two disappointing majors, and 2 indies (both of which went bankrupt). My personal favorite CD, "Happytown" (on Atlantic) was discontinued, and since I don't own it, I cannot re-release it. One would think that after a couple of hits ("Supermodel" and "I Kissed a Girl"), that I would be living the high life or at least flying business class constantly. But I hate to tell you…I still live like a freshman. The record deals that I signed were not moneymakers...

Now, I'm not complaining. I have been blessed and have played music for over 14 years without having to have a real job - which is a good thing because I have no marketable skills to do anything else. And right now, I have a bunch of new songs and finally feel ready to do a next record.

The problem is that I don't have one of those nice big advances from a record company to pay for the studio, musicians, producer, marketing, publicity, etc. - much less the illegal payola.

So, I have come up with new business model:

You guys - well, fans and companionate friends - invest in me. You fund my next CD (digital release, 8 track cassette, etc.) in exchange for gifts, services and participation.

Here is the site: Jillsnextrecord.com

So far the response has been pretty great and surprising. Let me know what you guys think. I'm here to please.

Now back to Huckabee.

Why the Hate for Hillary?

2008-02-28T11:44:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Jan 15, 2008)

While chatting with my Republican brother (the only one in the family), even he agreed that the white-hot hatred that most of his brethren feel for Hillary... is a bit over the top.

But as soon as he got there, he said, "but it's the exact same thing that you all have for Bush. You either say he is evil personified or a complete idiot." Well, he had a point. Then I said something like, "Well, Hillary may not be my favorite pantsuit wearer, but she certainly didn't get us into an unnecessary war that killed thousands of Americans and many, many more innocent Iraqis (although some would say that she is responsible for her part in voting for it). And she has not single handed-ly taken the goodwill that we had from the world after 9/11, and thrown it down the tubes. I could go on, but I won't."

My new smart and thoughtful conservative friend, who we will name, "The Benign Conservative" (he has a sort of famous other career), is also bothered by Hillary's personal life. He says she is a terrible role model (for say, someone's daughter). After having been cheated on and humiliated several times, she still took the bastard back.

He does have a point, but I do find it funny when, all of a sudden, people on the right turn into ardent feminists. Personally, I think forgiveness is a great thing, but more importantly, I could care less what the White House couple do to each other. I just want someone to do a good job, or at least fair to middling.

Anyway, the benign conservative has given us at the Provocateurs his latest take on Hillary and her display of emotion last week. Next post, we will hear from

"The Weepies"

By The Benign Conservative

Heck, we all get them. I can watch Field of Dreams 100 times 100 and still get misty at the end. Heck, I know it's his dad and I know they are going to play catch. But this red-meat eating red stater can't help it. Or the Friday night shabbat prayer and blessing of the children, (I'm not Jewish but it still touches me deeply when I am invited for sabbath). Or talk of my sainted grandmother or my cursed San Diego Chargers. Tears are not a bad or evil thing but cleansing and human.

So why does the sight of Hillary getting vaclempt make so many people's teeth itch? Because the moments of emotion I describe are all external. For a President, (or their many wannabes), tearing up over wounded or deceased soldiers, the suffering of others or even how fast their children have grown is acceptable. Maybe even expected.

Hillary cried for herself. That a campaign is hard. Oh, so very hard. For her. The enemies, her enemies, are everywhere. The corn-husking morons of Iowa who are unable to see her as the clear and obvious presidential heir apparent. It was so very, very Nixonian. If you listened closely you could almost hear the faint ringing of bygone political self-pity, "Think of what you'll be missing: You won't have Hillary to kick around any more".

Unfortunately, it seemed to work. Women voted in record numbers in New Hampshire. Many in exit interviews noting "we saw the real Hillary". For what? Ten seconds. Then it was back to transformer woman.

And if the result was to unveil a self-pitying, paranoid politician why in the name of feminism did it work?

Thank you, Mr. Benign Conservative

I bet some of you out there have an opinion on this.

Side note: Curiously, how many of you have been cheated on? And if so, did you forgive or move on? Or, the other way around. I want to know. I'm not sure why.

Also, are you all going to watch the debates tonight? I bet they won't be as nasty.

Kickin' It Old Skool - The New Hampshire Primary, Part 1

2008-02-28T11:41:00.001-08:00

(Originally posted by Michelle on Jan 10, 2008)

Cue the Dr. Dre and the Soundgarden.

Dust off your flannel shirt and pop "Singles" in the VCR. Is it the 1990's? Clinton and McCain?!?! I know McCain was a 2000 candidate, but it FEELS so10 years ago. Jeez. What is UP, New Hampshire???

A paradigm shift took place last week in Iowa. I know a lot of people felt it - what was that feeling? It was the weight of cynicism lifting off of their shoulders. Obama had stirred something up... just the idea of him is stirring. If Hillary were truly interested in the future of America, she would have signed on as a Mama for Obama right then and there. But no. She had to go play the "don't listen to those crazy kids" card in New Hampshire. And now we're back to 1996. Because you know what comes after another Clinton? Another Bush. God for-f**king-bid.

Bush, Cheney and Co have always struck me as perfectly cast for a McCarthy-era spy movie, in black and white of course.

They'd play the evil government conspirators who try to squash progressive thought and free speech, strip away the Constitution, build up the military and concoct a war for their own financial gain ... oh wait, that's not a movie.

Look, how could we NOT be cynical after the past 7 years? How could we NOT distrust politicians? It's just self-preservation at this point!

This isn't Hillary-bashing, by the way - I've always been pro-Hillary. I voted for her to be our senator when I lived in NY and always thought she'd make a good president. I still do actually. But after all the old skool politics we've been subjected to, isn't it time for something a little new?

Gary Hart gets to the crux of the issue in this morning's Huffington post. Casting all of the aspects of race and gender aside (amazing that we can even attempt that now!), he discusses the basic decision the Democratic party has to make this year (notice the radio silence on the McCain win? Its like, "yeah...and?"). As the so-called party of progress, do they take a leap or a step?

Anyway, I guess that's what we'll all be considering over the next few months... interesting times, huh? I was kidding about the flannel shirts, by the way. Lets not bring those back!

Girls with Guitars" - Exclusive Video and Interviews!

2008-02-28T11:40:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Michelle on Jan 8, 2008)

Girls With Guitars:

We begin with a video made for The Provocateurs from our favorite slam poet and storyteller: RIVES

Now about me... (it always comes back to me, doesn't it?)

I first picked up the electric guitar when I was 8 or 9. My first gig was in 6th grade with my band "The Igloos"(pretty great band name, I must say). The Igloos only knew two songs: "Hey Joe" by Hendrix and "Smoke on the Water" by Deep Purple.

As you can see, from the start I fancied myself a hard rocker, a shredder, a guitar hero (decades before the game). The problem for me, way back in the late 70s, was that it wasn't that cool for a girl to do it. The other girls thought I was weird, and though the boys liked me, it wasn't in the making out kind of way.

I wanted to be Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, and George Harrison. As far as female role models...there were not many. Oh, we had Nancy Wilson from Heart, Joan Jett from the Runaways, and before them, June Millington from Fanny

...but that was about it. Oh, I forgot, Bonnie Raitt.

Despite it all, I continued to be the best "lead" guitar player in my town (um, neighborhood), long before I decided to do that singer-songwriter stuff. What a bore! Still, I have been known to put my amp on eleven, stomp on my favorite fuzz pedal (the Swollen Pickle) and...shred

Anyway, Rives' video got me thinking about how other "girls with guitars" might have felt... so I came up with some questions and found a bunch of friends to ask - They are: Kat Dyson (guitarist in Prince's New Power Generation and with Cyndi Lauper); Charlotte Caffey (the guitarist from the GoGo's); Kay Hanley (from LettersTo Cleo); Nina Gordon (of Veruca Salt); Tracy Bonham (singer, songwriter and musician); Wendy Melvoin (of Wendy and Lisa, Prince, and composer for the show "Heroes"); June Millington (from the legendary girlband Fanny), Marla Sokoloff (an actress, singer, songwriter and guitarist. She also makes really pretty custom guitar straps called Kiss My Axe); and Dayna Kurtz (a New York singer/songwriter, known for her unique slide guitar style).

My questions are:

How old were you when youfirst picked up the guitar? Was it electric? Acoustic?

KD - 9 years old....acoustic....

CC - I was 15, but I was 17 before I played an electric

NG - about 6 years old, 17when I played electric

TB - I was 5 when I learned A, D, and E - Kumbaya, was it? I didn't really teach myself guitar until Iwas 24. I started to rock out on electric at age 26. I found that distortion could hide the fact that I couldn't really play.

WM - I started playing guitar by default when I was six.

JM - I was just turning 13 when I first touched a guitar.

MS - 12, My first electric was a Fender Strat

DK - 12 - an acoustic guitar my big sister had begged for several years earlier and left in her closet- A Yamaha FG 110 acoustic. The action was so high and it was so hard to play, I thought bar chords were for the super advanced and had to work around it.

Did you get much support for playing from your parents and friends?

KD - My mom was all for it from day one...It took my dada few years to get into it. Theboys in my neighborhood used to tease me and say I was wasting my time. Thegirls used to be kinda jealous because their boyfriends were turned on at thesight of a girl rocking out!

CC - No, and as far as I remember, no other girls I knew played guitar.

NG - Totally. The acoustics were my dad's guitars, the electric was a gift from my brother

TB - Peers gave me much support. They said I had a certain "sound". I thought it was called "ham fisted" but OK, I have a "sound". In the 90's it was considered cool for a chick to play electric guitar.

WM - My older brother Jonathan at the time was playing drums and had some really interesting teachers come to the family house and give him lessons. I wanted so badly toplay the drums too, but my folks just didn't pay that much attention to my musical desires. They really just thought i was being competitive with my bro.Xmas of that year Igot a guitar...it was a Yamaha D7 or something. I just flipped out I loved it so much. The only time I remember not playing as a kid is when I broke my arm, at 10 years old, skateboarding down ours treet, chasing the older boys to keep up with this new fad... I failed. I had a cast put on that took me out of the game for 4 months... I lost my calluses, and grew black hair on parts of my arm, that never saw any. It took a total of 6 or 7 months before I played again and haven't stopped at all except for the occasional "I want to be a bass player" or "I want to be a drummer now" or "I want to produce now" faze.

JM - hmmm. Well, before Bonnie (Raitt) .... not a one, on guitar. I mean a woman on electric guitar didn't exist as a role model in the 60's ~ although now I know there were a few on the blues and country scenes, and I wish I'd known. So I and other girls in the band just made it up as we went along, out of sheer chutzpah you could say. As far as guys, Jimi Hendrix would have to be at the top of the list. Then there'd be Lowell George, who taught me so much and was a good friend and ally. And there were other guys whose names no one would know but who helped so much with licks here and there, and especially sounds. We all just really experimented a lot, there were no gimmicks then so it was pure tone and understanding the intent behind every note you played. I mean, get it out there.

MS - My mom thought it was another phase because I had already attempted a few other instruments but all my friends at school thought it was pretty bad ass. At least I think theythought that ;)

DK - I was considered pretty weird regardless. It helped a little, I think. Not with boys, though. Nothing helped with that till my boobs came in. And even then, I was pretty much thought to be a freak, and not in a good way. My mom loved it. I think my dad liked it until it became clear that I wasn't going to stop and do something more sensible like get a graduate degree or marry a lawyer. Then he worried.

Who were your role models?

KD - Odetta (my mom loved her; she was the first black female guitarist to play Carnegie Hall; Marianne Faithfull (for hersongwriting) also, Wes Montgomery, Jimi Hendrix, The Beatles, Rolling Stones,Led Zepplin, Yes, Carlos Santana ,Allan Holdsworth, Jon Scofield; and for rhythm and funkiness: Sly and the Family Stone, Curtis Mayfield; all of the James Brown guitar players and last but not least, Tower of Power.

CC - there definitely weren't any girls-but my idols were John Lennon, Jimi Hendricks-way into Led Zepplin and Jimmy Page-my first 2 concerts were The Beatles in 1966 and Led Zepplin in1969 (their first tour) -so that pretty much set the stage right there..

TB - My role models on guitar were and still are George Harrison, Jonny Greenwood, Thurston Moore, and Joey Santiago of the Pixies.

JM - Back in the Day - there were no all-girl bands to emulate, heck there were no girls on any of the cool instruments. But from the family, pretty much the women - my mother Yolanda and my beloved aunt Cora. They adored anything we did, which is more valuable than people think. Peers? We didn't have peers. As I said, we were making it up as we went along. So when we bumped into other girls who played, naturally we were all supportive of each other. One girl was Addie Clement who was in the California Girls out of Palo Alto but joined our band the Svelts (Sacramento). And then there was the band Birtha whom we met in L.A. when we already had a record deal. They got one subsequently, and we hung out a lot, were all girlfriends. Their guitar player was kick ass, seriously, but they never got the attention we did somehow. They were great, tho (and their bass player is the woman singing on "Running On Empty" with Jackson, which was at least a decade later).

DK - My world was seriously rocked by Joni Mitchell, especially. Also, her use of open tunings helpedsolve my cheap warped guitar problems, as you can do less and sound like more in an open tuning. I still mostly play open tunings today. In high school, I was desperate for girl musicians -I loved Joni, Heart, Rickie Lee Jones. I remember in the 80's buying absolutely anything with tits that wasn't bullshit pop, because it was still so damn rare. The Eurythmics, The Motels, Tina Turner's comeback, Til Tuesday.

What was your favorite song to play on guitar?

KH - My go-to song when I have a Gibson Les Paul and a super loud amp to play it through is "LuckyGuy" by The Muffs.

NG - favorite first song to play as a kid was "Keep On Singing" by HELEN REDDY!!! So corny, it hurts to admit it...next favorite was "Rhiannon" by Fleetwood Mac -- phew! Way better.

WM - When I was 12, I was taking lessons when my teacher at the time asked if there was any song I would like to learn.Well, I said yes to "Amelia" by Joni Mitchell - from her Hejira record, not realizing that it was open tuned and that my teacher was not a fan. He went home that week to learn the song and then feebly taught me his rendition. I played it his way till I was 16 and then discovered open tunings on my own and happened on that particular tuning from a song. I was writing at that tender age, and my world changed forever. Guitar playing has never been the same since for me since...

JM - "Stop! In the Name of Love" (nice piano chords, it was the first time I realized you could play a chord with its third in the bass), anything super-funky like "In the Midnight Hour" or "Hold On! I'm Coming", even "Walking the Dog"; Beatles Beatles Beatles; girl group songs - "Heat Wave", "Dancing in the Street", "Somebody to Love" by the Jefferson Airplane (Addie played all the leads, I didn't get off strictly rhythm 'till we got to L.A. and she quit the band - yipes!) and "Sunshine of Your Love" were both great tracks to learn when they were still hits, just an absolutely rollicking time; "Do You Believe in Magic", wow, and a shuffle too; you had learn to do songs like "Louie, Louie", that basic rock thing, but we didn't stay on them long as everyone else was doing them and the 3 chords didn't really hold our interest - what set us apart was the ability to do the vocals that girls sang, or turn gender around on others ... boys didn't switch it around too much like that; and of course a good ballad always tore my heart out, we loved them. Examples would be "To Sir With Love", "Alfie" (I know, not a guitar song but we did it anyway, and learned a lot), "I'm On the Outside (Looking In)", "Baby I'm Yours", Walking in the Sand", "Our Day Will Come" by Ruby and the Romantics, and "Walk On By" - what a track!!.

And why did you want to play guitar in the first place?

KH - I started playing guitar because I was in my first band and was restless to write songs on my own as opposed to having to wait for band rehearsal nights when the guys would strum the chords for me. This was 20 years ago and I'm still not very good.

JM - I had no choice. The minute I heard one at the convent in Manila (7th grade, a few months before we moved to California) I was hooked, smitten even. I knew immediately that it was a force bigger than I and could't resist, it consumed me ~ it was rock 'n roll destiny!

MS - Because Joni did. I also really wanted to write songs about how much my parents sucked andplay them in a band to embarrass them.

DK - I don't know if girls pick up a guitar for the same reasons boys do (to get laid, to be cool). It felt like pretty uncharted territory at the time, but Ifeel like it kind of saved my life, in retrospect. It gave me a similar kind of confidence and grace that playing sports gives to other girls.

Anything else?

TB - I play with one finger alot.

Musicians can act, but can actors be musicians?

2008-02-28T11:38:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Jan 3, 2008)

I have brought this up more than a couple of times at dinner parties when the conversation lags: "Can you name any actors or actresses in the last, say, thirty years who have successfully transformed themselves into good singers, musicians or songwriters?"

Most people are at a loss to come up with anyone.

Or, they come up with confusing answers like "Jamie Foxx." But was he a comedian, an actor or a musician first? I went on Wikipedia, where all the secrets of life can be found, and discovered that he studied music at Julliard. So Jamie doesn't count. He's a cool throwback to the days when actors had to also be song-and-dance men, like Sinatra.

It's easier to answer the question the other way around, musicians to actors: How about Tom Waits, Kris Kristofferson, Bjork, Ice Cube, Cher, Mos Def, John Doe and Mark Wahlberg, to name a few (Madonna not included).

But when I think of actors-turned-singers, I think of Bruce Willis, Eddie Murphy (with "My Girl Likes To Party"), Keenu Reeves (Dogstar), David Hasselhoff, and my favorite…Steven Seagal. And don't forget the tabloid-celebs-with-record-deals: Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton.

Okay, my friend Michelle has just reminded me of one actor-turned-musician whose music career has eclipsed her acting one: Jenny Lewis (Rilo Kiley).

I know there are more. Can you all help me?

For fun, I'll leave you with a quote from Steven Seagal:

"I don't consider any actors to be real musicians… I'm probably going to get in trouble after saying that. I think Jeff Goldblum is the only good musician."

Michelle’s note: This post hits a little close to home for me. In my day job as a songwriter-for-hire I’ve actually worked with quite a few of the “celebs-with-record-deals.” Maybe I’ll write about that for our next post? Also, some recent examples I thought of… Mini Driver, Juliette Lewis, Billy Bob Thorton and Jared Leto. Oh, and I LOVED Lyle Lovett in The Player.

Jill: Michelle, will you please tell that story of the unnamed but obvious starlet with drug problems?

Huckabee, The Gays, Predictions, And A Song

2008-02-27T23:43:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Dec 31, 2008)

I just saw a clip of Mike Huckabee on Face the Nation yesterday morning. I like his demeanor- his easygoing manner. He seems like such a nice guy.

And, he has a sense of humor-as opposed to Giuliani whose only funny moment in the campaign, so far, was wearing the red vest in his Christmas ad. It was not intentionally funny, I think. Huckabee also seems more of a populist than your average creepy greedy tax cutter. And, Huckabee did have a more humane stance on children of illegals (well, compared to the other Republican hopefuls). Although in the last few days he has flip-flopped and has become more hard line, tying the Bhutto assassination to illegal immigration.

Okay, so he doesn't have foreign policy savvy, but he can hire someone who does…like Bush did (yikes!).

So what's my problem with Huckabee?

Well, I am not usually a one-issue kind of person, but I do have one test:

How one feels about… the gays.

I think it says a lot, no? And, my stance has some leeway. For example, if I have to, I'll accept Edward's statements about not being ready for gay marriage. But he is against a constitutional amendment, as well as against job discrimination and "don't ask, don't tell". And, he is fine with civil unions.

Huckabee has gone far and beyond the usual "marriage is just between a man and a woman". Here is a good quote from 1998 that Russert brought up:

"It is now difficult to keep track of the vast array of publicly endorsed and institutionally supported aberrations—from homosexuality and pedophilia to sadomasochism and necrophilia.”

I love how he compares, say, boring lesbian couples that have been together for years, to going all the way with a dead person. Here's another one from back in the 1980s where he believed we should quarantine Aids patients:

"If the federal government is truly serious about doing something with the AIDS virus, we need to take steps that would isolate the carriers of this plague..."

And another:

"I feel homosexuality is an aberrant, unnatural, and sinful lifestyle, and we now know it can pose a dangerous public health risk."

Okay, so these are his religious convictions, and some say I need to be more tolerant. But, is that like being tolerant of Mel Gibson's dad's church where they believe that the Jews are still responsible for killing Christ?

And, I so wanted to like this man from Hope Arkansas…like the other ex-governor from Hope.

So, do any of you have any predictions for Iowa? I have no clue like everyone else, but I'll just take a stab: Edwards and Romney? No, I just can't commit.

Oh, here is a very short old song of mine on the evils of the gay agenda:

"under the disco ball "

My New Years Resolutions

2008-02-27T23:42:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Dec. 28, 2008)

New Year's resolutions:

1. I am going to eat better: My dietary habits have not changed since I was 8. Sure, instead of a Butterfinger, I will go for a, say, a Cliff Bar, but it is basically the same sugar crap -- but not as tasty. I skip meals (usually breakfast), snack A LOT, drink Diet Dr. Pepper and like to eat right before I go to bed. I also eat out too much. It's expensive and not as healthy as eating in, they say. But... I have kitchen phobia. I don't cook, and think if I did, I would be terrible, and no one would want to be my dinner date. This is all gonna change. Maybe I will by a cookbook. Do you guys have any good easy recipes for special needs cooks?

2. I am going to get more sleep: I average 6 hours. I like to stay up late and read. It's my no worry peaceful time. The problem is that I like to get up early. The morning is also my no worry peaceful time. The bigger problem is that the rest of the day sucks; I am tired, spacey and cranky. Plus, the crystal meth is just not as fun as it used to be.

3. Better work habits: More time with pen and paper and less time writing on my computer. When I start on my computer, I say to myself, "oh, before I get to songwriting, why don't I check my mail, then go on a couple news sites, then a couple of blogs, then go on Wikipedia to read up on, for example, who are famous Scientologists." Before I know it, two hours have passed and I am too tired to write a song. Plus, I didn't get enough sleep.

4. Be brave and face the DMV: I have a Denver driver's license and have not lived there since 1987. It's part laziness, but mostly fear of having to take the test again, especially the driver's one. I don't know why it frightens me so, but it does. So, I made an appointment for next week at the Hollywood DMV. Wish me luck.

5. Finally put out my next CD: I have been holding out for too long and have been a bit tentative. Will it be as good as my last one? Will I be heartbroken again? My last two CDs (which I am very proud of) were on two labels that went bankrupt. Sure, a lot of folks heard them: I toured tons and did what I could do on my own, but they were never properly promoted and marketed. I will be recording it in February -- yikes!

6. Be a better person: I will try to be less self involved, more active in the community (maybe feed the homeless with my new recipes), be more tolerant of people with different political views (hmm, that's a tough one), and live life with less fear and with more love and adventure.

Happy New Year to each and every one of you.

Oh, here is an old song of mine that is sort of applicable:

one of thesedays

Shoplifting on Christmas - A Song And Parable

2008-02-27T23:41:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Dec. 25, 2007)

The one and only time that I have ever shoplifted was on Christmas Eve day. I was working at Barneys Department store on the third floor in co-op shoes. The Co-op, for those that don't know it, is supposed to be the less expensive department. So shoes are $400 instead of $1000.

For weeks I had been eyeing this hat on the first floor. It was a knit tam: black and white striped with a red ball on top. I was waiting for it to maybe go on sale, as even with my discount it would have been $200. $200 for a knit hat that kind of looked special needs. And, $200 was way more than what I made a week selling high- end shoes (I never made employee of the month).

Never-the-less, I still had hope. I brought up the hat to the third floor to show my work mates. They all thought it was cute but hardly worth the money. Customers started coming in, so I put the hat down by the register and went out to the floor. It was crazy busy with last minute wealthy shoppers.

Side note: I did sell shoes to Barbara Streisand that same month.

7:00 came, and as I was preparing to check out and leave, the manager told me that it was starting to snow, so I should put on my hat-she was pointing to the coveted one. She obviously didn't see the price tag that was still attached.

What could I do? The manager told me to do it; she gave me permission. And…if I did walk out, I was stealing from the "man". It was not the hat of some poor individual. No, it was from the most pretentious of all department stores ever—Barneys.

This is what I said to myself as I walked, with hat on head, past cosmetics and perfumes toward the door.

I made it!

Two days later: I left it at a diner. I realized it about a half and hour afterwards. When I returned, it was gone. Someone had stolen it. The nerve. How awful that someone would do such a thing. It was just a hat.

jill: "that hat " (MP3, 3:32)

That Hat

Department store windows
cashmere and corduroy
aluminum snowflakes on strings
We move to the next one
and there is the hat you want
mechanical angels all sing

Let there be peace on earth
and let it begin with me
I wish that I could buy that hat
if only I had the means

The next day I come back
alone just to take a look
the more that I look I get sad
But still I ride up
to apparels-accessories
thinking of you in that hat

Blessed be the poor like me
who never has asked for much
I’m only thinking of the joy
I’ll bring to the one I love

Right there before me
in black felt and velveteen
I feel my heart start to pound
The store clerk ignores me
for more well-dressed customers
the moment that she turns around

Hark I hear the angels sing
nobody has to know
I take the hat under my coat
and pray for my journey home

I made it home.

Jill Sobule/Bill Demain

Even Jews Get The Blues On Christmas (A Holiday Song)

2008-02-27T23:39:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Michelle on Dec. 22, 2007)

Michelle Lewis: "Even Jews Get the Blues on Christmas " (MP3, 2:55)

On being Jewish at Christmas-time...

War on Christmas? Feh!

Not here in my neck of the San Fernando Valley, where literally every house, and I mean, EVERY house on the block has lights up, including my own. I might add that several families inside those houses on my block are Jewish, um, including my own. No one wants to be the buzz kill, I guess.

Some big faker on Fox news thought he could create some kind of anti-PC frenzy by fanning this non-story. But ask any Jewish person you know - it ain't so.

Christmas still kicks the ass of any other December holiday. I don't EXPECT any one to look at me and say "Happy Chanuka" in all seriousness... in fact... I'd probably think they were f**king with me if they did. "Merry Christmas," "Happy Holidays"... it all sounds like "blah blah blah blah blah." It's just something retailers say this time of year instead of ‘have a nice day." I know, I know, you want to put the "Christ" back in Christmas. If you care that much about the religious part, why not wish me a happy Day of the Second Assumption as well, huh? You won't - because it's all about Christmas, The Season.

Yeah, I get really ornery about this whole "war on Christmas" nonsense. The phrase "Happy Holidays" may seem like an attack on all-things-Christian to Bill O Reilly, but from where I stand, it's a tiny little nod to the possibility that other holidays exist. That's all. No one is trying to undermine the awesomeness of the day, believe me. That would be like shooting spitballs at the sun.

Personally, I'm looking forward to having the day off with nothing to do but watch movies and order Chinese take out.

You can look at this picture while you listen to the song...

Michelle Lewis: "Even Jews Get the Blues on Christmas " (MP3, 2:55)

Oh, and here are the lyrics -

"Even Jews Get the Blues (on Christmas)"

Middle of December
Feeling a familiar malaise
Tinsel in the windows
Red and green for miles
And I'm down for days

So much something over nothing to do
But a lame blockbuster movie and some Chinese food...

Even Jews Get the Blues on Christmas
Even Chanuka babes feel the crush
We all eat too much, don't drink enough
And pray for New Years Day
Even Jews get the blues on Christ.... Mas

Back when I was younger
Christmas Eve, I'd lie in bed awake
Listening for reindeer
Praying hard that Santa could make one mistake

But I'm finally accepting my plight
Either marry me a Catholic or give up the fight

Even Jews Get the Blues on Christmas
Even atheists and Muslims feel the pain
Of the endless whines, the last on lines
And so much left to do
Even Jews get the blues on Christ.... Mas

Chanuka Shmanuka, everyone knows it's Christmas-lite
As if candles and latkes are meant to be some consolation prize
Though I can't spin a dreidle, I know all the verses to Silent Night

Even Jews Get the Blues on Christmas
Even Buddhists could lose all their zen
From the crowded malls, the decked out halls
On someone else's day
Even Jews get the blues on Christ.... Mas
And I'll sing the songs, it won't be long
Cause Santa's on his way (but not for me)
Even Jews get the blues on Christ.... Mas

Sex, Drugs and... Bingo?

2008-02-27T23:38:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Dec 20, 2007)

Tonight, I am the host of Rock&Roll Bingo. Until yesterday, I thought I was actually performing and singing a couple of songs. But I found out, from former host Wayne Kramer, that I will just be calling the numbers. Even Better. Past host have been Flea and Tom Morello, so I am very honored to crank the cage.

Rock & Roll Bingo, in their words is, "a non-profit organization … its purpose is to bring together musicians, fans of music, grassroots political organizations and community members to support various social charitable organizations and events. We aim to build a bridge between fans of music from around Southern California and local political and social organizations to effectively rally around issues of peace, human rights, the environment and economic justice."

My charity of choice for this evening is the Drug Policy Alliance. They are, in their words (I am too lazy and tired today to not quote)," the nation's leading organization of people who believe the war on drugs is doing more harm than good."

If you don't believe that marijuana should be illegal, and think that the drug laws, as they are now, are racially biased and harmful to society as a whole, then this is a swell group to give to. Plus, it's only $5 a bingo card.

Rock &Roll Bingo: tonight (7:00-10:00) at Crane's Hollywood Tavern

An idea: What would you people think if we did a tour of something like Rock & Roll Bingo? Would you go? Bingo is fun.

Last month, I took my mom to the corner bar in NYC (which happens to be the historic Stonewall Inn). Of course the bingo caller there was in full drag. She looked like an old Jewish Grandmother. When we walked in, she bellowed (in a very Long Island accent), "Oh, here come some lesbian lovers" When I said that she was my mother, the caller responded…"Oh that is Jerry Springer sick". Undeterred, we lasted through 4 games.

Bingo is hot.

Web Surfing, Roger Clemens And Judy Garland

2008-02-27T23:36:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Dec. 18, 2007)

It all started when I went online and tried to find out more on the baseball steroid scandal, three hours later, it led me to... Judy Garland.

Here's how:

-Homepage, the Huffington Post: I couldn't find much on the baseball scandal, so I clicked on the link to my second favorite site...

-Crooks and Liars: Again not much, but I do love that they usually have daily videos of Keith Olbermann's "Worst Person in the World." I love that Bill O'Reilly usually gets the gold. So I ended up watching two weeks worth of those segments. Then I remembered wanting to visit a site that I had just heard about...

-Dickipedia: A list of ...dicks. I wondered if Bill-o was in it. He sure was: "William James 'Bill' O’Reilly, Jr. (born September 10, 1949) is an American television commentator, author, novelist, and dick." Then I saw a brand new entry and I was getting closer to my original inquiry: "William Roger Clemens (born August 4, 1962, in Dayton, Ohio) is a starting pitcher for the New York Yankees, one of the preeminent pitchers in Major League Baseball history, a steroid and human growth hormone user, and a dick."

-Google: I typed in a search for "human growth hormone." After looking deep (like 12 pages) I came up with this:

-Horsefeathers: "Let us remember that baseball is a form of entertainment, no matter what various wordsmith intellectuals like John Updike and Roger Angell may assert. Do we demand that actresses and actors not 'enhance' their bodies with plastic surgery or control their weight with amphetamines and other drugs? Did we insist that Judy Garland or Miles Davis perform only while sober and drug free?"

-Youtube: For another 20 minutes I watched clips of Judy in an old Christmas special. Did she look slightly high? I was going to click on the link to Liza, but then realized it was 2:00 AM, and I had to get up in 5 hours and do real work.
Side note: Judy Garland? I am on a Yahoo Music site, where, I guess, I should be talking about the newest bands sweeping the nation.

I am an admitted addict, an abuser of the web. And I pride myself on saying that I don't waste much time on TV. I have never watched an episode of "Friends" - even in syndication. However, I will stay up until sunrise, mindlessly surfing and perusing every one of my bookmarks.

I especially love exploring the websites and blogs of people and communities that I usually don't have much contact with — like David Icke, who believes that "reptilian humanoids are the force behind a wide world conspiracy." He contends that the Royal family, Bush, and both Clintons are such shape shifters. I, for one, actually do believe Posh Spice is one.

One of my other strange faves is Rapture Ready. It keeps me updated on the soon to be coming end times. Today, the number nine sign is... "the subprime loan crisis." Huh?

Every once in a while, I will check out Stephen Bennett's site. He, in the words of his bio, is "a man who once engaged in the sinful homosexual lifestyle. Since 1993, Stephen is happily married to his beautiful wife Irene." We have actually exchanged some emails. He didn't seem keen on giving me an interview, but was actually really nice and complimented me on my music.

I am wondering what websites (the good, the bad, the ugly) you all like to visit. Any gems out there?

Correction: I lied. I do watch a fair share of TV.

One other thing: I have my xmas CD and new Jetpack t-shirts for sale on my website. Come on!

Obama and Me

2008-02-27T23:35:00.001-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Dec. 10, 2008)

Now I know what all of those girls at Shea stadium must have felt for the Beatles, or what the bobby soxers saw in Frank, and probably what a few girls in South Korea still feel for Michael Jackson.

On Friday night in Chicago, I played at a Barack Obama fundraiser, along with Wilco and Macy Gray (who was not wild about having to share her dressing room with me).

When they told me I could meet him, I thought, that's cool. I had no idea he would turn me into a silly girl whose heart was all a-flutter.

Sure, I had seen the charisma in his speeches and flashes of it in the debates, but meeting him one-on-one was something entirely different - even if it was only for 10 seconds and a photo op. But, for that 10 seconds (okay maybe it was 7), I was the only person in the whole world that mattered to him. He takes his time as he grasps your hand, looks you deep in the eyes, and… swoon.

I've heard that Clinton (Bill) has this ability too. My Aunt Mickey, who was very proper, uncharacteristically said that when she met Bill, she understood why Monica did what she did.

Of more importance, I have the feeling that this man could actually bring change and hope to an indifferent, cynical or completely disgusted electorate. It was so great to see the concert hall filled with excited 20-somethings. OK, so maybe Michael Jackson wasn't exactly the right analogy. Maybe, it's more like… John Kennedy.

And someday, if anyone ever asked me to, I would so sing "Happy Birthday (Mr. President)" Marilyn-style to Obama.

Where do you guys stand on Hillary vs Obama?

Christmas is the Saddest Day of the Year

2008-02-27T23:33:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Dec 12, 2007)

I just made EW's list of "100 Great Christmas Bummers" with my song "Xmas is the Saddest Day of the Year"! Not only that, but I was number…10! Right below Prince's "Another Lonely Christmas," but above William S. Burroughs', a "Junky's Christmas". I'm so excited… I never make lists.

"Christmas is the saddest day of the year "

Christmas was not always sad. I grew up a mostly secular Jewish girl, but I loved Christmas so much more than that boring old Hanukkah. Christmas had "Silver Bells," "White Christmas" (both written by Jews, by the way!) and we had that friggin annoying Dreidle song. Christmas is always on the 25th-- predictable and comforting -- while you never really knew when Hanukkah began. Christmas signified the birth of the Lord, while Hanukkah was about oil burning for a longer time than expected. The birth of the son of God wins hands down in the miracle department if you ask me.

Plus, there were the great Christmas TV shows: The Grinch, Charlie Brown, that old movie with Natalie Wood… There were trees, stockings, advent calendars, and of course gifts. Our family would light the candles for Hanukkah, but I would get to open up the gifts that were hidden (not so well) in my parent's closet Christmas morning.

Also, Christmas day was when all the relatives came over. My mom would make the turkey and Uncle Nat would separate the white and dark meat with his own fancy electric carving knife.

There was old Aunt Esther, who was a WAC in WWII and a bad dentist (everyone said so). There was Bubu, my grandmother, who had the largest selection of polyester pantsuits in history. Zaidie, my sweet grandfather, smoked cheap cigars (which I loved the smell of) and was always very old world. My other grandmother, Nanny, was more elegant than Bubu -- she wore the grandest clip-on gold earrings. The family was rounded out by my dad, my older brother and Pinky and Poochie (the mutts).

After dinner, we would engage in that grand old traditional Christmas activity: five-card stud. We played for pennies, and on one magical Christmas I ended up 65 cents richer. Oh, how I loved the 25th of December!

It's been over 20 years since my dad died. The aunts and grandparents are long gone. It's now just my brother, my mom and me. I am close to them, but we live in separate towns and have pretty much given up on our Christmas gathering. Now, as an adult, I have a great life with great friends and a loved one, but it's not the same: No poker, no electric carving knives, and no funny sweet old women in pantsuits.

Side note: I do love Manhattan this time of year. I think I will go on Jetblue.com, book a flight, and play ping-pong at Fat Cats. It's a new Christmas tradition.

On another side note: the song was co-written by James Maistro. I recorded it on an 8-track cassette recorder. I put it on a Christmas CD that I only sold on my website. I am surprised that the guy at EW heard it.

Soldiers of Christ

2008-02-27T23:22:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted on Dec. 6, 2007)

jill: "soldiers of christ "

I was reminded of an old song of mine as I was watching the last Republican debates. They spent a great deal of time on religion: who was the most hardcore and truest of the true believers.

Now, I don't care if Mike Huckabee takes every word of the Bible literally--that is his biz. If Romney is an Osmond-loving "Big Love" Mormon, more power to him--but should this play a part in who we decide is the next President?

Unless of course you are the Republican party and you, now more than ever, need the evangelical vote. The problem is, I hope, that the younger generation of Christian evangelicals are, little by little, not as concerned about partisan politics. Or their concerns extend beyond the traditional morality issues to more progressive matters of social justice. They are less of tweeked about, say, homosexual marriage then their elders.

Now admittedly, I am getting this info from a 60 Minutes that I saw a few weeks ago and some recent op-eds. I am wondering what the Christians that have written into this blog have to say about all this.

Side note: a boy came up to me on the street and told me that his mother, who was very religious, had heard this great song that her preacher had played for the congregation. She got a copy for her son, so as to maybe encourage him away from his evil ways. She believed that he could be gay, as he didn't like sports and preferred the cooking shows on cable--a sure sign of Satan. That song happened to be "Soldiers of Christ."

After meeting and talking to the sweet boy, who, by the way, was wearing a Scissor Sisters t-shirt, I believe the song probably didn't work--at least in the way his mom had hoped for.

By the way, this song was written with Robin Eaton

Putting the "Date" in Candidate

2008-02-27T23:20:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted my Michelle on Dec. 2, 2007)

Have any of you tried VoteMatch yet? It's like eHarmony in your search for the perfect presidential dreamboat. It matches compatibility, likes and dislikes, priorities etc., but instead of "how important are kids?" it asks, " how important is the environment?" Neat!

Apparently, my presidential Mr. Right is Dennis Kucinich.

I've asked around and a lot of my friends who consider themselves Democrats have gotten paired up with the congressman from Ohio. He's clearly the most Democratic of the Democrats. But what if the chemistry just isn't there? I mean, what if he reminds me too much of the guy who sat behind me in Poli Sci, mouth-breathing and asking for pop quizzes. I know I'm not supposed to care about superficial things like looks and height, but I can't watch him on a debate without thinking of... OK, it's SHALLOW! And I'm sorry, Mom, I DON'T want to date Mrs. Schulman's son, the accountant, either.

Sigh. It's a head vs. heart thing... In my head, he says all the right stuff (except for that UFO thing - eye roll - WHY does he have to be such a dork?) and he looks good on paper. But in my heart, well, it's just "like" not "love." You know what? He's too good for me! I don't deserve someone so pure. So smart. So passionate about the mundane things like education and healthcare. Like most girls, I want the guy that isn't good for me. Someone who's kinda dangerous... and a badass.

Like Hillary?

I haven't gone down THAT road since college. Hmmm. She's kind of aloof. A smooth operator. Leaves you wanting more and always the center of attention... Just...my... type... but eHarmony eh, um, I mean, Match.com, I mean, Votematch says it's Kucinich, then Edwards (too fey) then, gulp, Mike Huckabee? Jesus, what did I click on to get him as a possible match? Must have been one of those tax reform questions I didn't quite understand.

Anyway, I love these kinds of internet "compatibility quizzes." You can take them to find out your ideal dog breed, your perfect hair style or the diet that's "just right for you." The funny part is that my "ideal" match is never what I actually opt for in real life - I mean, I have a golden retriever (not a boxer), I usually put my hair in a long pony tail (not a short, curly bob) and the "just right" diet is basically skipping breakfast sometimes.

So check it out! Let us know what your matches turn out to be...

Dope for Democracy - by Wayne Kramer

2008-02-27T23:18:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Wayne on Nov. 28, 2007)

wayne kramer: "dope for democracy " (MP3, 3:22)

Wayne Kramer, as Tom Morello introduced him one night, "is the godfather of punk." His band the MC5 has often been cited as a huge influence on early metal and punk. Wayne not only continues to rock hard, but is an activist, concerned citizen, and all around good guy.

Here he tackles the absurdity and destruction of our drug laws- something which he knows about quite well.

--Jill

America The Irrational.

Drug policy in America is so irrational that it almost defies description.

The Food and Drug Administration staked out its position on the long-standing controversy over the medical use of marijuana — and infuriated a lot of people. The F.D.A. recently endorsed a multi-agency study that found that "no animal or human data supported the safety or efficacy of marijuana for general medical use." This came as an insult to all who know that cannabis is an appropriate treatment for ailments from nausea and vomiting to muscle spasticity and intractable pain. Particularly from AIDS wasting.

This brilliant deduction comes after fifty years of accumulated evidence to the contrary.

The penalty of our irrationality on this subject is so egregious that it bears closer examination.

Recent reports also tie Bush Administration appointed DEA officials to politically motivated enforcement of federal drug laws.

The White House and its personal goon squad the DEA have declared war on sick people and the doctors and pharmacists that treat them Not only that, but once ensnared in the criminal justice system, you stand a good chance of being branded for life.

Recently in Alexandria, VA. A pain-management doctor who prescribed opiates to patients at his northern Virginia clinic was sentenced Friday to five years in prison. Prosecutors had sought a life term for William E. Hurwitz, 61, who was convicted in April on 16 counts of drug trafficking. Authorities claimed Hurwitz crossed the line from doctor to drug dealer with his high-dose treatments. The Judge lowered the doctor’s sentence from the original 25 years after re-examining the evidence.

The further bad news is there are over 400,000 American citizens is state, federal and local jails and prisons for nonviolent drug offences. This is more than all the people locked up in Western Europe for all crimes whatsoever. And Western Europe has a larger population than the United States.

Tried to buy Sudafed lately? Had to show I.D. and sign for it? Bush/DEA loyalists slipped in the Osama/Sudafed connection in the latest version of the homeland security law. Not only are they snooping into our health records, but also they are prosecuting our doctors and pharmacists for treating us.

To break it down even further, half of America’s courts’ operating hours are spent on nonviolent drug cases. And, half of America’s police man-hours are consumed in nonviolent drug enforcement. Ask any cop and they’ll tell you they are in and absurdist cycle of chasing druggies while real, violent criminals - murders, rapists, and child molesters- are regularly paroled to make room for nonviolent drug offenders.

The marijuana laws are clearly hypocritical compared the real lethal (and legal) drugs, alcohol and tobacco. The common perception is that illegal drugs kill hundreds of thousands, alcohol less than that, and cigarettes even less than that, still persists. The truth is just the opposite. Check this out:

The number of American deaths per year that result directly or primarily from the following selected causes nationwide, according to World Almanacs, Life Insurance Actuarial (death) Rates, and the last 20 years of U.S. Surgeon Generals' reports:

Tobacco 340,000 to 450,000,
Alcohol (Not including 50% of all highway deaths and 65% of all murders) 150,000+.
Aspirin (Including deliberate overdose) 180 to 1,000+.
Caffeine (From stress, ulcers, and triggering irregular heartbeats, etc.) 1,000 to 10,000. "Legal" Drug Overdose (Deliberate or accidental) from legal, prescribed or patent medicines and/or mixing with alcohol - e.g. Valium/alcohol 14,000 to 27,000.
Illicit Drug Overdose (Deliberate or accidental) from all illegal drugs.3,800 to 5,200. Marijuana 0

The source of our draconian drug policy stems from the religious rights Calvinistic conviction that anything that makes you feel better must be a sin. With their profound lack of compassion and empirical evidence not withstanding, they champion attitudes that just do not stand up to rational scrutiny. Not only do they believe it, but they are incredibly well organized and have managed to control the laws of the land to successfully create a second and even a third generation of disenfranchised Americans. Those caught up in the system have been locked up and then locked out of the mainstream.

None of this happened by accident. The history of the drug war goes back to the original Pure Food and Drug act of 1906 and the Harrison Narcotic Act of 1914, both were part of the fanatical religious movement of the days efforts to make America a “good christian country”. Their set piece of legislation was, of course, the Alcohol Prohibition Act of 1920. We all know how well that turned out. The result was the creation of the Mafia. Today’s drug war has done the same for our generation with the creation of the numerous international drug cartels and urban street gangs that control drug sales in our cities.

The federal government has known a great deal about drug addiction and alcoholism since the forties. At two federal prisons around the country, most notably my alma mater, Lexington FCI, research was conducted to learn all that could be gleaned about the why’s and how’s of addiction. The CIA had a hand in this work. In the cold war they were looking for the James Bond “truth serum” that they could use on the Russian spies. They fried men’s brains with LSD for months at a time. Finally giving up on these experiments and having most of the records destroyed. Some good came out of the work begun at Lexington. Methadone programs for example. But the government turned their back on the results of their own research. Instead of creating a humanitarian approach to the social problem of addiction they gave into the perfect storm of political logic: to protect us from something they themselves created. The cold war was saving us from the commies, just like the Iraq war is saving us from the terrorists and the drug war is saving us from the druggies. They ignored the recommendations of their own scientists and made drug policy a moral/police/court/prison issue, not a medical/social problem. The Government has, in fact, created the drug problem in this country. The latest Pew Global Attitudes report says that the people of the United States and Great Britain – voice more worry about drugs than about crime.

I look to our government to guide us as a good parent might. At the rate their parenting skills are failing they could be charged with child abuse. I don’t expect the government to fix everything but I do expect them to help. At the very least don’t make it worse, which is just what they have done.

The costs in dollars have been unbelievable. For example, the US government spends at the federal level alone nearly $20 billion annually on the drug war. The total cost of our drug laws could easily be in excess of $100 billion dollars each year. The United Nations values the drug trade at $400 billion a year. That’s more than the annual budget for the U.S. Department of Defense. The irony is that the cost of our drug policy is the market they have created has become a steady stream of income for terrorist organizations like Al Qaeda, Islamic Jihad, Hezbollah, Shining Path and others.

Even if we acknowledge that stopping drug abuse is a justifiable social goal, and it is, how does the financial cost of the war on drugs appear in light of the other challenges we face? National health insurance? Schools? The list is long.

I have seen some good news: Crippled by soaring corrections costs many large American cities, NY, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Seattle and others are re-examining policies that drive ex-offenders right back to prison by barring them from employment. Locked out of the mainstream, ex-felons (mostly drug offenders) can become burdens to their families, their communities and the nation as a whole. These cities have taken groundbreaking steps aimed at de-emphasizing criminal histories for qualified applicants for city jobs, except where people with convictions are specifically barred by statute.

These developments are a step forward in terms of fairness for law-abiding ex-offenders, who are often barred from entire occupations because of draconian drug laws and minor crimes committed in the distant past. It should be clear to all of us by now that confining those people to the ranks of the unemployed makes it more likely that they will commit new crimes, return to prison and the cycle continues.

Drug courts in California are also a step in the right direction. The 60% of offenders now in prisons could be held accountable in community based correction/treatment options. Cali leads the nation on this and we should.

--Wayne Kramer

Kissed a Girl--alternative ending?

2008-02-25T22:17:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Dec. 3, 2007)

...so when the label heard the song, they thought, being the geniuses that they are, "Ah, this lesbian thing could sell! It's trendy! But let's not make it TOO lesbian, if you know what I mean." So when we did the video, I couldn't actually kiss the girl. And, in the end, I go back to the husband.

I wish we could have done a directors cut and filmed an alternative ending. Here's what happens in the original, then let's make up a better ending:

It opens with the paperboy riding by on his bike. I'm wearing a blond flip wig, living in this colorful cartoony version of 60's suburbia. I wave to Jenny, my next-door neighbor, who is married to Fred, who is "such a hairy behemoth." Jenny's wearing a brown flip wig.

I invite her to a Tupperware party - very Stepford Wives - and we are obviously a bit shy and crushed on each other. The next scene is of me (as the real me) in black bobby socks with mary janes and, sitting on an oversize chair with these huge braids on my head. Looking at it now, I resemble a Goth version of Marie Osmond in "Dancing With the Stars."

After the Tupperware party Jenny and I must have had sex, because she's under my bed hiding when my husband Larry - who is played by…Fabio! - comes home from work. They (The Man, meaning the record company) wanted you to think that I'm still into my husband, and not a converted lesbian, so they reenact scenes from Fabio-like Harlequin novel covers. The only thing at all titillating is that Jenny and I get to play Footsi under the backyard BBQ table. But then it ends up like most all pre-L Word lesbian-themed pulp fiction: I go back to my husband. The other choice would have been to kill myself. The video ends like it began, with me waving to Jenny, but this time I am 9 months pregnant. The paperboy rides by again.

So, what would I have done differently with the ending? Here's one scenario of the top of my head.

Jenny and I kiss. In a nice way, not a gross way. I wouldn't show cleavage, since I have none, but Jenny could. But back to the story line: What if after a steamy, sneaky few weeks, Jenny and I run off to Greenwich Village and live where other bohemians and odd girls live – I'm still thinking this is 1962. We become friends with the Beats, and I take off my blond flip, dye my hair black, and become a poet.

Jenny becomes a painter and works with Warhol. She teaches him how to keep a diary. I never became pregnant because I wore an IUD. Oh, and I bought a worn-down two-bedroom apartment on Perry Street for $20,000. I still have it, and now (in 2007) it's worth $5,000,000. Jenny and I broke up 2 years later. We just stopped having sex (bed death, some call it) but became great friends. The paperboy rides by.

I know there's not enough time for all this in a 3-minute video, but it could be something like that. And by the way, I wonder what ever happened to the girl who played Jenny? She was so nice and cute.

The "Kissed a Girl" girl

2008-02-25T22:15:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Nov. 29, 2007)

Kissed a Girl -- yep, that was me.

Ah, the curse of the "novelty" song. It's my cross to bear, but it is also the thing that got me noticed. Plus I made a couple of bucks …well, not as much as you would think. Anyway, it was one of those songs that I wrote on a lark with my friend Robin Eaton. I never thought that it would actually be on a CD, nor thought in my wildest dreams that it would be an MTV hit. Or that I would be branded forever as "the Kissed a Girl girl."

Instead of being thought of as the serious artful singer-songwriter that I aspired to be, I was asked in Howard Stern-like interviews, "did you really kiss her?" "So, you don't like the penis?" My favorite, that I got all the time, was, "Hey Jill, you and me have something in common... we both kissed a girl! Ha ha ha..." What an idiot.

I started to resent the song. When asked to play it, I would, but with a bit of an eye roll. Oh, I could go on forever, but in the last couple of years I have started to embrace my one hit wonder hit (actually I had two hits, according to VH1). First of all, what is the shame of having "only one" hit? How many of you would love to even play the cowbell on one jingle? ...Well, I would play cowbell on anything anyone asked me.

And, in the last few years, I have started to embrace and have pride in my Kissed a Girl-ness. I mean, what other song includes the words "hairy behemoth"? Plus, I think it was the first song on the charts to deal with queer stuff -- not counting YMCA. It was way before the Ellen kiss on TV and The L Word. As innocent now as it seems (a kiss), it was scandalous in 1996. I was banned on many stations, especially in the Bible Belt. In fact one station in Nashville had a disclaimer before it played, so parents, I guess, could put their hands over their kids' ears.

I am so happy when someone comes up to me and says that the song made a difference, as they were young, gay, and feeling depressed in some small town in Alabama.

At one show, a big boned gal came up to me and said that when she was in the Marines, they would hum a couple of bars of the song to see who was gay or not. Don't ask, don't tell, but hum. I guess I really was "supporting our troops."

So, I am Jill, and I am the Kissed a Girl girl.

Side note: I always think how funny it is that the Village People's YMCA has become such a universal anthem -- and with choreography. Doesn't everyone know it's about anonymous queer sex at a gym in Chelsea?

Somewhere In New Mexico

2008-02-25T22:09:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Nov. 28, 2007)

Jill: "Somewhere in New Mexico " (MP3,4:29)

On the comments page of the last post someone mentioned a song of mine. I thought, why not put it up--even if I don't usually post the more personal here.

The drawing is by my talented friend, KellyAnne Hanrahan.

I'll Have a Green Christmas Without You

2008-02-25T22:01:00.000-08:00

Originally posted by Michelle on Nov. 29, 2007)

Just read the cover story of Sunday's NY Times Style section and thought I'd bring it up here.

To summarize, it was about how this year's Christmas-stealing "Grinch" is the loopy environmentalist in your family, who wants to fore-go exchanging new store-bought presents for more eco-friendly options - like chore trading, recycled gifts, no wrapping paper, etc. The tone of the article was that this person is a bummer and that Christmas is not a time for austerity... or perhaps I'm editorializing.

For the sake of full disclosure, I have to admit here that Christmas is not my holiday. So I read this article through the cool, steely eyes of a Jewish girl who always envied the over-the-top-ness of my Christmas celebrating friends (and, well, the rest of the world) at this time of year. And if those tree-hugging hippies ever came after Rosh Hashona, I would be PISSED. (Um, I'm kidding of course... I mean, how could you make the Jewish holidays MORE green??? We don't really "do" anything... besides eat and walk everywhere.)

Anyway... for conservation to work on a large scale, the Green movement has to come up with some convenient, win/win ways for the rest of the country (meaning, west of Santa Monica and east of Vermont) to hop on board. This shift in attitude will have to be all-encompassing - from our government, through the corporations and institutions, on down to the consumer. I don't think that ix-naying my little niece Isabel's Polly Pocket set (as loathsome as I find those things), is the way to go about it.

I saw Al Gore's movie. And I agree that the smaller things add up. But don't you think there might be a backlash if Christmas becomes the new target of the Green movement? Couldn't this be another way to marginalize a very crucial issue as mean-spirited and a little crazy? Or maybe this could be spun as a WWJD, stewards-of -the-earth kind of thing? Maybe it is the time of year to consider all that our planet gives us and try to give back... For some reason, I doubt it.

Thoughts?

"Letting Go Of God" - Once Again

2008-02-25T21:59:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Nov. 27, 2007)

Gosh, the only blog entry that I have gotten much response for is the song I wrote with Julia Sweeney for the movie of "Letting Go of God". Most of the comments were not favorable. My favorite was: Get ready to shovel coal in hell!!

Since I don't think most of the well-wishers have seen her amazing show, I thought I would offer a snippet.

Here it is: "the mormon boys arrrive " (MP3,7:22)

Let me ask the bible quoters this (coming from someone who respects others' beliefs but is baffled): If, say, someone who is an atheist or a secular Jew (like me) was a great person their whole life (generous, loving and did "good works"), he would still go to hell, according to you, because he didn't accept Jesus as lord and savior. So does that mean that Gandhi fries while, for example, the mafia guy who murdered a hundred and repents on his dying day gets to go to heaven?

I want to know.

A Short Interview With The Nightwatchman (Tom Morello)

2008-02-25T21:56:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Nov. 26, 2007)

I know Tom, not from Rage Against The Machine or Audioslave, but as The Nightwatchman-his political folk alter-ego. I have toured with this Nightwatchman, as well as played on his all-star Hotel Café nights. By the way, they are starting up again this Thursday.

I caught up with the man in black on the phone while he was waiting at the airport.

Who exactly is this Nightwatchman?

The Nightwatchman is the shadowy character that lives in the recesses of my mind that dwell on bitterness and revenge. He has many powerful enemies; some of them are war criminals…but he also has powerful friends. Some of them are coyotes. He knows their names, but he will not tell you their names.

Coyotes? Is that anything like in the seminal hippy book The Teachings of Don Juan by Carlos Castaneda?

The Nightwatchman did not have that book.

(Of course he didn't. Dumb question) I have also met the Nightwatchman's mother. She is very cool.

The Nightwatchman's mother is also a very powerful figure. The apple does not fall to far from the tree. She is kind of the Mother Jones of her era. She is still engaged in civil disobedience at 75 years old. She introduces the Nightwatchman to spirited and often profanity laced political invectives when the Nightwatchman is in town.

She seems to be adored by many.

That's hard to argue.

Every time I see the Nightwatchman perform, he is donning the same black, almost dark, superhero outfit.

Yes, it's comforting not to have to worry about wardrobe when performing--it's also a matter of style before comfort. At Coachella, I donned my black long sleeves, black pants, black boots, and heat-inviting black hat while it was 107 degrees. It's an important part of casting fear and doubt in his enemies.

Who are these enemies or bad men?

He has singled out several victims to expose and drag naked on the white house lawn--to beat with a shoe. He returns to the studio in November to begin chronicling their demise.

Thank you, Mr. Nightwatchman. And I hope to join you onstage as one of your faithful sidekicks this fall at the Hotel Café.

“We are the Writers” – Our Union song

2008-02-25T21:53:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill and Michelle on Nov. 22, 2007)

Jill Sobule & Michelle Lewis: "We Are the Writers " (MP3, 2:18)

For my appearance on NPR's Bryant Park Project this AM (reeeally early), I decided not to go with the Turkey number, but rather with a song about the writer's strike, again with help from my fellow Provocateur, Michelle Lewis. I was trying to get serious union with it -- in the lower part of my vocal range and in E minor (the angriest of all keys). Also, I wore a kind of Trotsky-like hat. It was radio, so you couldn't see it. I also want to send out a thanks to Kim Dickens for handing me the lines about stage hands and Scott Baio.

Here are the words:

We toil in the writers' rooms
The windowless and darkened gloom
We entertain the people of this land
We've forsaken our great novel
For the sitcom and the pilot
Our blood and sweat and punch lines for The Man.

We are the writers
We are the writers
And we are the wronged...

Just like our brothers in the coal mines
And the stagehands of the East
We will suffer with just donuts
Out on Melrose in the heat

The producers get the glory
And the actors get the fame
We Cyranos of the back lot
Left out of the game.
("New media" they're calling it)

We are the writers
We are the writers
And we are the wronged...

All we asking is our piece of the pie
Without another season of Mad Men, I'd surely die
My friend, do you know what will happen
If in the end they don't pay?
More of that Scot Baio show
And spin offs of Flava Flav ------ Flava Flav

So we'll strike, for our right
Just to write and get paid
Yes, we'll fight and we'll sing you this song...
We are the writers,
We are the writers
And we are the wronged

I do love the show Mad Men.

Michelle's note: Personally, I think it's Johnny's Cash's hat Jill is wearing. Also, just wanna say that Jill and I are both in SAG and AFTRA and fully support our writer friends in this strike (we've both picketed!). Happy Thanksgiving!

A Thanksgiving Song - "One Turkey"

2008-02-25T21:50:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Michelle and Jill on Nov. 21, 2007)

Michelle Lewis: "One Turkey " (MP3, 2:21)

FROM JILL:

I am going to be on NPR again this week. They asked me to write a song about Thanksgiving.

Hmmm, what could I write about? It's not the most exciting holiday. It doesn't inspire like Halloween or Hanukkah—by the way no one has come up with a great video for my Jesus Was a Dreidel Spinner contest.

I could write about the Pilgrims and the Indians, and how they really were buddy buddy for one big dinner that included canned yams with melted mini-marshmallows on top. And, how afterwards, the Pilgrims took their land.

Or how Thanksgiving used to initiate the beginning of the Christmas season. It was not until Santa finally arrived at the Macy's Day Parade that you would be allowed to put up a tree or annoy everyone with your favorite Christmas mix tape. But now Starbucks has been hawking Xmas CDs for months.

I could write about how during my eating disorder phase in the 80s how much dread I had staring at the big table adorned with a dinosaur-sized turkey and hundreds of side dishes, including the historical canned yams with melted mini-marshmallows.

Or how, despite having more discerning taste buds, I still prefer my cranberry sauce in a can.

What was suggested to me was the Presidential pardon. Every year-and I don't know how far back this tradition began- the President pardons one turkey. I could write how Bush has used his powers to free 7 turkeys and…Scooter Libby. There's got to be a song in that. Clinton, by the way, freed more than a dozen drug offenders unjustly sentenced by mandatory minimums.

Here's what I have so far:

Every year since Harry Truman, compassion has arrived for one thanksgiving bird, who is promised not to die. Kennedy had done it so had LBJ, and now again this month, George W will save.

And Pardon one lucky turkey from the roasting pan
But before he does it he has a terrible plan.

Off the coast of Cuba, he will keep him in a cage
Threaten him that Cheney will point his gun his way
Baste or waterboard him, send him to Iraq
Without body armor, in case of an attack

This is depressing and not a promising beginning. Do any of you have good ideas for a Thanksgiving song?

FROM MICHELLE:

This is an addendum to Jill's previous post...

I was home with the baby today and thought it might to fun to go ahead and write the aforementioned presidential-turkey-pardoning song. At least, it kept the baby amused (yeah, that's him coughing in the background). Anyway, we made it a real family operation - my husband Dan played guitar, while I sang with Jackson on my lap.

I've printed the lyrics below so you can sing along.

Happy Thanksgiving!

xoxo - Michelle

"One Turkey"

Ever since Harry Truman,
Compassion arrives
For one lucky bird
Who is promised not to die.
Kennedy had done it, so had LBJ,
And again this November, George W will save...

One Turkey
One Turkey
This jerky will pardon one turkey - hooray!
One turkey
One turkey
Will still have a neck at the end of Thanksgiving Day

Don't know much about turkeys
But one thing is sure
They can't raise our taxes
Or send kids to war
They don't reward cronies
Or muck up our air
So somehow this pardoning doesn't seem fair

One Turkey
One Turkey
This jerky will pardon one turkey - hooray!
One turkey
One turkey
Will still have a neck at the end of Thanksgiving Day

The White House great lawn
Out on this Thursday morning
Their erstwhile dinner detects irony
Our one little turkey looks up at the prez
And he says,
"Wait, you're pardoning me???"

One Turkey, etc.

Jesus Was A Dreidel Spinner: A Video Contest

2008-02-25T21:42:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Nov. 12, 2007)

" Jesus was a dreidel spinner" (MP3, 2:19)

When I was asked, years ago, to sing a Christmas song for my label at the time, Atlantic Records, I decided to write a Hanukkah one, since all we Jewish folk had was that awful Dreidel made out of clay song. Well, the executives didn't go for it. "Jesus Was a Dreidel Spinner" was not going to be their next holiday classic. I guess a corporation full of JEWS didn't deem it appropriate. What war on Christmas? There's a war on the holiday, which can be spelled in two or more ways.

I always wanted to do a video for the song, but never had the means.

So now I am asking you all for help. If there is anyone out there that has the creativity and talent, and wants to try making a kick-ass video for "Jesus Was a Dreidel Spinner" please do it.

There is no money, but the winner/winners or worst one will be on my blog as well as on the Yahoo music homepage. But, what's even better is that it will be featured on the homepage of the hippest Jewish Magazine ever…Heebmagazine.com.

How can you miss this opportunity?

Gentiles also welcome.

Oh, I'm thinking we should have something by Dec. 2nd. What do you think?

Julia Sweeney With "Letting Go Of God"--An Atheist Anthem

2008-02-25T21:39:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Nov. 11, 2007)

Julia Sweeney and me: "Letting Go of God " (MP3,3:55)

Atheists are big this year. You have the best selling books by Sam Harris, Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens. In a year where three Republican presidential hopefuls have said they don't believe in evolution, I find it refreshing. Agree with them or not, none of them have quite the heart and humor of Julia Sweeney. And she's really, really smart.

Julia, who some of you know as Pat from SNL, has also been recognized for her amazing one-woman shows, " God Said Ha" and her latest, "Letting Go of God".

This is the song that we wrote for the movie of "Letting Go Of God" —which isn't out yet, but when it is I am hoping we get a Best Song Grammy. If Melissa can get it for that song she wrote for the Al Gore movie, why can't we?

Also, for those of you in the Los Angeles area, Julia and I are doing the "Jill And Julia Show" at Largo on the 13th of November. What happens is that I sing a song, and then she tells a somewhat related story. As our theme song goes, "sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But, overall, it's a swell show.

Singer-Songwriter/Campaign Consultant

2008-02-25T21:34:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Nov. 8, 2007)

After reading a New York Times piece on the rise (and now fall) of the celebrity political consultant, I think I wouldn't mind trying my hand at it. See, this music thing is tough and has yet to pay off monetarily. I would like to know how much Naomi Wolf -- who wrote The Beauty Myth, which I did kind of like at the time- got paid for advising Al Gore to wear earth tones and be all alpha-male for his campaign. What were her qualifications? As an ex-Bush advisor was quoted to say, "The problem with political consulting is you don't need a license or a degree. Anyone can just show up with a camcorder. It is the ultimate in hackery- for which I am perfectly suited". Dang, I own a camcorder and a new iphone!

And why can't my singer/songwriter credentials be an advantage? Case in point: Hillary's choice of a Celine Dion song for her campaign. For me personally, her approval rating dropped 17%. And I am not alone. No one I know knows the song, nor would like it if they heard it. And another thing is that she is a Canadian. That doesn't bother me, but it could bother others. Why take the chance? The song should be from an American artist, not Canadian, unless it is like The Guess Who's "American Woman," which is about an American.

Side note: my friends and I sometimes play this game when we are on the road, "Name the Famous Canadian Musicians". I always start with Joni Mitchell, Neil Young, and BTO.

Okay, so what song would I choose for Hillary? Hmmm…Dylan's "The Times They Are a-Changin'" ? Bill Withers's "Lean on Me"? No, not quite right, but better than a sad-ass Celine Dion song. Maybe, I could write the song. I wonder if Fleetwood Mac got paid every time Bill used "Don't Stop."

Would it be more fun and interesting to work for a more right-wing contender? How about Giuliani who has just been endorsed by Pat Robertson? Well, now that he has to appeal and convince the Christian base. I say, "Day by Day" from Godspell. It may at first seem a bit too much Church and State, but it is so happy and catchy. And, it's a compassionate Jesus who has a jewfro and wears suspenders. Who doesn't like that? Well, maybe you do need to add some extra lyrics for those who need a stronger message:

Day by day

Day by day

Oh Dear Lord

Four things I pray

To see thee more clearly

Love thee more dearly

Follow thee more nearly

And make sure marriage is between a man and a woman

Day by Day

How about The Flintstones theme song? We all love that one. And it shows that men (Fred) and dinosaurs (Dino) lived on earth at the same time. What a sly nod to intelligent design!

I am just beginning to think about this and my new career. If you guys have any good ideas for campaign songs, please let me know.

Oh, after we named all the famous Canadians, we would go onto famous Belgians. That was way harder.

Jacque Brel, Rene Magritte, the Singing Nun….

My Halloween Song

2008-02-25T21:26:00.000-08:00

Originally posted by Jill on Oct. 31, 2007)

I was again the guest op-ed troubador on NPR's The Bryant Park Project. Here's the NPR link and song: "Women whose Halloween Costume is Just that They're Slutty--Well, That's Not a Costume at All"

Here's the lyrics--remember I only had one day to write the song. But I meant every word of it. Oh, also check out my pal Eban who brought in his Theremin:

Halloween was my favorite holiday but in these last few years

Something so terrible has filled me with fear.

It's not the razor in the apple; no I heard that never happened

No, it's something much worse

It's women whose Halloween costume is just that they're slutty

That's not a costume at all. What happened to Witches and monsters?

They left the Halloween Ball

Just putting kitten ears on your head is not creative.

A skimpy black dress is not very scary--unless you're Ann Coulter

Stiletto heels are not that special unless worn by a man

I'm not a prude, but I'm not a fan....of

Women whose Halloween costume is just that they're slutty

That's not a costume at all. What happened to Witches and monsters?

They left the Halloween Ball

Okay, maybe if you play a dead prostitute from say Jack the ripper days or maybe a zombie whore from outer space. But the naughty devil outfit in lingerie? Well, that's...just not good.

On NPR this Morning

2008-02-25T21:22:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill at Oct 15, 2007)

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote an article on the Wall Street Journal's blog, allthingsd.com, asking non-music industry techy types what they thought someone like me (an always semi-struggling artist) should do next with her next "album." Please forgive my hat hair.

Alison Stewart, the co-host of NPR's new morning show, The Bryant Park Project, had me on this morning to discuss the article and play a couple of songs.

Wednesday, I played Carnegie Hall--an Elton John Tribute. Don't I get to brag about that one? Usually, I am on the Comfort Inn tour.

Topical songs to write:

Something about Blackwater--with evil country music?

Ann Coulter and her fast track to Jesus?

Do you guys have some good ideas?

"San Francisco" - My Video

2008-02-25T21:11:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Oct. 26, 2007)

San Francisco - the song:

My back was killing me, and I heard about this Thai massage place that was supposed to be great and… cheap. I went in with my pal Robin Eaton, who was in town to do some writing with me.

When we walked in, the man at the front desk somehow thought we were an item, so he put us in the couples room. We were singing and giggling, trying to distract from the slightly uncomfortable fact that we had never seen each other totally nude.

Our two Thai masseuses came in, saw our silliness, and started singing themselves. One of them launched into a very broken-English version of the old Scott McKenzie song "If You Go To San Francisco." It was pretty cute. Robin asked her if she had actually been to San Francisco, and she answered in a sad, whispery tone, "Oh, we can't go. They won't let us go."

Robin and I looked at each other -- what kind of place was this? I had just read an article about how thousands of Asian women and girls are kidnapped, tricked or sold into prostitution and smuggled into the United States each year. So, I couldn't help wondering.

When Robin and I got home, we worried, got all serious, and wrote this song.

Oh, and I went been back to that place a couple of months ago. I was curious, but more importantly my sciatica was acting up. Prisoner whores or not, that walking-on-the-back trick worked. And I also came away pretty convinced that the parlor is legit, especially since I saw one of the masseuses get into her brand new Prius -- not usually the car of a sex slave. But, what do I know?

On the video, check out the legendary drummer Jim Keltner, the same guy who drummed on Lennon's Imagine album.

A Song: "Homosexual Agenda" by Joe Straight and the Gay American

2008-02-25T21:09:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Oct. 23, 2007)

the song joe straight: " Gay Agenda" (MP3,5:36)

"A conservative country/western singer best known for his songs about family and freedom."

Rockin' Republican Style

2008-02-25T21:06:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Michelle on Oct. 22, 2007)

So what DOES one wear to the Hannity Freedom concert???

Jill and I were going to go the one in San Diego (held, appropriately enough, at the Coors Amphitheater), but she had oral surgery and I couldn't get a sitter. So now we're planning on hitting the big 9/11 show at the Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson, NJ, since we'll both be in NY that week.

As a teenager growing up in New York City, I went to lots of big rock shows in NJ--from my first concert ever (Journey with Bryan Adams opening in 1986), to the requisite Springsteen home-town-blow-outs; from classic rock reunion tours (the Who, the Doobie Brothers and the Rolling Stones) to Radiohead and U2 in the '90s. I've noticed that the de riguer stadium concert going outfit hasn't changed much over the last two decades, particularly in New Jersey... where the kids still rock it old school... concert tees with three-quarter length sleeves, jeans (tight for girls, oversized for boys), denim jackets, Timberlands for boys, high-high heels (a la Candy's) for girls.

One side note - back when U2 was considered an arty punk band, the kids who were into them wore Docs...and maybe black jeans instead of blue. Now the distinction seems minimal, but then, it was HUGE.

And while New Jersey was and still is all about classic rock, country music is a non-starter. Seriously, not even a blip on the radar. So I'm checking out the bill for this "Freedom" shindig and I see it's perty heavy on the folks with cowboy hats--LeeAnn Rimes, Montgomery Gentry (remember? one of those guys shot a caged bear!) and Lee Greenwood. And I'm wonderin' how that will translate, um, fashion-wise up in the decidedly blue Tri-state area. Truth be told, in all my years growing up around there, I've NEVER seen the C&W look worn non-ironically. When BR549 comes to town, we kids grab the 10 gallon hats from the Halloween costume box and slyly tuck in our checkered shirts, albeit messily and have a grand ole time two-stepping. But we know we're just havin' a laugh.

I don't think the Wall St. Republicans and Upper Saddle River soccer moms are that kind of funny. It seems that irony, that most lefty of all literary devices, is a bit lost on these folks and so the dead-pan slogan T-shirts ("Hannity/Coulter 2008") and urban cowgirl frocks probably WON'T be an option...if we're talking about fitting in here. Again I ask...what to wear?

On the Hannity Freedom Concert series website, there are photos from the San Diego show, and the crowd shots are very telling--LOTS of red, white and blue. Overall, the men look like they could be spending a day on the golf course or at the company picnic--tucked-in polo shirts and chinos, some baseball hats, some jeans, but NO concert T-shirts! The women, again, very "casual Friday" or maybe "small town fourth of July parade"--button down blouses, skirts, sensible shoes. I guess the most notable thing is the average age of the concert goers...I won't throw out an actual number, but um, OLD would suffice. Wow.

At least Jill and I won't be rolling up in her Prius, as we would have in Cali, but rather some rental car. And this one will be taking place at a Great Adventure...so theme park casual will probably suffice--not-too-short shorts, flip flops and a plain t-shirt, no slogans or band names. I will also bring a little American flag on a wooden stick and a sun visor. I will leave my "Stop Global Whining" tee at home, along with my smirk and sense of irony, and I will keep my mouth shut!

Jill's added note: an interesting Wikipedia entry on Montgomery Gentry.

"On November 27, 2006, Gentry pleaded guilty to a charge of falsely tagging a bear as if it had been killed in the wild. It had actually been killed on a private game reserve. Under the plea agreement, he agreed to pay a $15,000 fine, give up hunting, fishing and trapping in Minnesota for 5 years, and forfeit both the bear hide and the bow used to shoot the caged animal in 2004."

The picture shown above is Michelle in front of my Republican ready Prius (donning an anti-hippie t-shirt).

Christian Porn

2008-02-25T21:04:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Jill on Oct. 23, 2007)

I spent my first twelve dollars ever on online porn. Before you judge, let me inform you that this porn has been read and approved by... God himself. Marriageromance.com is "a Christian marriage site where couples share marriage and romance writing." Here was one testament:

Marriedsville--Enjoying Moral Fantasies

In the past few years, my wife and I have been enjoying a new freedom in the bedroom. For 15 years, we believed what society told us: sex is either stifled, predictable, and tightly controlled, or it is perverse and sinful. However, after reading Christian websites like marriagetakes3.com, we came to realize that the marriage bed truly is pure. We discovered, to our delight, that if it doesn't violate God's commands, and it doesn't violate our spouse's comfort, then it is OK. As a result, we went out and bought items like erotic board games, edible body oils, vibrators, and more. We found that referring to our body parts with "naughty" slang words during sex was not a sin. Our sex life was revolutionized!

There are stories, love letters, discussions groups (on, for instance, if and when masturbation is okay), and poems. Here is one of the more racy poems about the end of abstinence:

A long time coming

It's been a long time coming _Waiting for you, my wife, my mate _a long time waiting, _lying naked on the bed _waiting to consummate __Our wedding day so long and trying _but now we are here, moaning and sighing _the sweat glistening off your shapely figure _my hard long shaft, deep in your fissure ....

Fissure? Gross.

So, if you don't want to waste $12, like I did, you can get one month of marriageromance.com free by entering your own story or poem.

Should we all write one?

"The Scratchy Vinyl" - used record review (by Yves Beauvais)

2008-02-25T20:59:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted by Yves on Dec. 13, 2007)

Bob Dylan -- The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan

purchased from: disheveled street vendor, Broadway & 109th Street, New York City
price: $1
condition: shabby

I'll be honest, I bought this one 'cause of its cover. Not only do I dig the pretty girl with the long hair, but the dude, Bob Dylan I presume, really looks like a guy I went to high school back in Minnesota. Bobby. Bobby Zimmerman. That was his name. Terrible, just awful piano player. Parents ran the hardware store in town. I doubt it's the same guy, 'cause this here Bob seems to be more of a guitarist than a pianist. Notwithstanding the fact he'd be approaching 65 today. Yet he looks not even 25 on the sleeve. Weird.

Here is the lowdown: Zimmerman or not, this kid could not sing his way out of a paper bag. Celine Dion's got nothing to worry about. American Idol? Not! Paula Abdul is NEVER going to be found drugged and drunk, getting sweaty with this scrawny, badly delusional troubadour.

Guitar playing just OK. Decent on the mouth harp. Hard to believe someone thought the young man should make a record with so little talent. Shows you how low the standards have gotten. Me, I blame it on rap.

But if you can get past the awful voice, I thought this was a cool LP to hip you all to, as it is pretty darn political at times. And Jill tells me this is a website for political music.

The good news is that the kid can WRITE. I don't think I've heard better lyrics since Donna Summer's "Love to Love You Babe." But that was then and this is now. And In these troubled times, songs like Masters of War, Blowin' in The Wind, or A Hard Rain's Gonna Fall are just what the country needs. Peacenick stuff, sure, but strong and smart and subtle. Thoughtful songs for thinking people. Not the usual reefer-fueled, hippie-banner-waving, "Give Peace a Chance"/"Imagine" crap. I'd love for the clowns without the makeup down at the Dick & Bush White House Circus to give this one a spin. Might change their minds about all this maiming & killing they've been doing by remote control. I wonder if they know how to operate a record player.

He's also got some nice sensitive love songs -- Girl From The North Country, Don't Think Twice It's Alright; stuff that may well help you leftist lads "score", if you know what I mean, as long as you can tune a guitar and bang out three chords. But it's really the pinko stuff that makes me think my buck was well spent.

If I ever meet his Dylan guy, I'd tell him to just forget this recording racket. With a voice like his, he is doomed to fail. A band might help distract the listener from that awful, constipated-dog-on-a-hot-zinc-roof voice, but it's a long shot. "Listen, Bob," I'd tell him flat out, from one hep cat to another, " forget those dreams of free-flowing booze, dolls by the vatful, and girls, girls, girls. You ain't got the physique. And you sure ain't got the voice. But I still think you could make a nice coin writing tunes for other people. Publishing. Think publishing." I have always been one to speak my mind.

Caution: don't buy records from that unkempt fellow on 109th street. Mine was badly scratched.

Rating: Music: C minus; Lyrics: A plus

Editor's note: Yves Beauvais is a native of France, reared in Minnesota. Beauvais committed a fistful of youthful indiscretions while working for the State Department in the early days of the Kennedy administration. He was released earlier this year from a rather lengthy vacation at a Government-run, all-inclusive resort in the scenic town of San Quentin. We thought we'd give him a chance at rehab with a regular column on "The Provocateurs" while you give him a chance to catch up.

(We stole the idea for this column from writer/photographer Michael McLaughlin, his brother, and their super-fine, now sadly defunct Rhode Island Liar.)

Right Wing Radio Talk Show! A Theme Song

2008-02-25T15:50:00.000-08:00

(originally posted Nov. 4, 2007 by Jill)

"Right Wing Radio Talk Show Theme Song" by COULTERGEIST. I discovered them one night at a TGIFs, after a Young Republican's convention

coultergeist: "right wing radio talk show theme song " (MP3,2:11)

I recently moved to LA – well, almost 2 years ago. One of the things I was dreading was driving again. I had been taking cabs and the subway for almost 15 years. The only one benefit of being stuck on the 101 during rush hour, I thought, could be all the free time to listen to music. So I bought an iPod gadget for the car and great speakers

However, as soon as I accidentally pushed on the AM button, I was transfixed.

Who was this goofball talking about the sanctity of marriage? And when I turned the dial, there was someone hatefully calling someone else a liberal. When did that become a bad word? Everywhere I went, it was some right wing-talk show host ranting about immigrant rapists, the gay agenda or Rosie.

There’s Sean Hannity, Michael Medved, Dennis Prager, Rush, Bill O' Reilly, and my favorite, Paul McGuire – who on 740 (Christian talk) believes that the Rapture is coming any day

My friends ask me, "how can you stand it?" I say, you have to know your enemy.

There is Air America, but I sometimes think they try to imitate the show biz combative style of the right. And somehow the right does it more entertainingly.

Lately, I’ve been trying to curb my addiction and have tried switching to FM. But what dreck! Other than KCRW (at times), and some of the other stations way to the left of the dial late at night, there’s nothing good

Just an excuse to turn back on O'Reilly or Medved.

So maybe I’ll make use of this time and do a weekly right-wing radio talk show report. So, you don't ever have to listen.

Sicko, Indeed by Kay Hanley

2008-02-25T15:35:00.000-08:00

(originally posted on Nov. 20 by Kay Hanley)

I just received an email that was all "Hey dude! What's up?!" from the "folks" at The Tonik Plan, Blue Cross' insurance company for the X Games set. At least that's whom they THINK they're directing their off-the-cuff-isms to. They have this ersatz ironic tone to all of their literature and web stuff that is meant to convey a sense of "Hey, we know we're supposed to be a crusty old health insurance company, but dooood! We are just like you!" In reality, it comes off about as cool as Grandpa doing the f**king cabbage patch at your little sister's high school graduation. But I am getting off message.

I had recently applied for private health insurance through the company that insures the rest of my family knowing that I would most likely be denied, but I figured it was worth a shot. The email they sent back was to tell me that I did not qualify for their Tonik Health Care Plan. Also, I did not qualify for ANY coverage in the Blue Cross group of "medical underwriters." Perhaps I would consider researching my options with the California Major Risk Program, "A 36 month program developed to provide health insurance for Californians who are unable to obtain coverage in the individual insurance market." That sounds promising.

I know why they rejected me, I'll get to that in a second, but first humor me by allowing me to recount my health insurance wet dream that was my life before recently.

Until Age 18: Dad's Blue Cross/Blue Shield, courtesy of the City Of Boston, where my Father spent his career.

Age 17-19: Overlapping coverage! I paid 15 bucks a month through my union. I was a janitor at Boston City Hall. Sweet!

Age 19 -24 I paid for coverage that was offered through my various restaurant gigs. Again, totally civilized monthly cost.

Age 25 -37 The promised land: Tippee top of the line health and pension benefits through 2 awesome unions, SAG & AFTRA. Quarterly premium maxed out at $525 for my family of 4!! We had more coverage than we could use, seriously.

Age 37-38 Shitty "private" coverage for my husband and 2 young children through Tonik/Blue Cross. Me: uninsured

We lost my SAG benefits because I didn't reach my earnings quota. No biggie, as we were able to able to arrange for our son's c-section birth before time ran out. The big surprise was when AFTRA raised their earnings requirements just as we were relocating from Boston to Los Angeles and our union earnings were decreasing. We were out of luck a year later.

COBRA was going to cost us $1200 per month, which was impossible as we were trying to get our lives and careers off the ground. I made an executive decision to buy coverage through Tonik for my husband and our 2 kids, but not for me. I felt comfortable gambling on my history of good luck and excellent health while holding out for my AFTRA and/or SAG benefits to come back. I hardly ever used our insurance for anything other than childbirth and yearly OB/GYN exams. And since we weren't planning any more kids and I've always been a healthy person I thought I'd save a few bucks. I made the wrong decision.

Cut to the chase: In 2006, I promised my 7 year-old daughter that I would quit smoking, just as my husband had a few years before. I planned to stop in Jan 2007 when we got home from our Christmas visit with the family in Boston. Before we left Los Angeles, I got a prescription for an anti-depressant called Wellbutrin, which my sister and Dad had both successfully used (off label) to quit smoking. I began taking it just before we flew back to LA. Wellbutrin, as it turns out, has a high risk of seizure. On my 5th day of taking the drug, I had one of the grand mal variety.

The experience of having a seizure is terrifying, unexpected and scary. It feels like a violation. But the aftermath was just as bad. I lost my driver's license. My brain didn't work quite right for a while (and some would argue that my brain never worked quite right). I was never an anxious person before, but I soon became consumed with fear, mostly that a seizure might happen again. And then there was the issue of my ambulance ride, my brief hospitalization, the CAT Scan, EEG, MRI, and other assorted interventions. An American with no insurance shouldn't be having grand mal seizures out of the blue because it's quite costly.

I will never be able to buy decent or reasonably priced private insurance now. I may not be able to purchase any health insurance at all. So after an entire lifetime of being an American taxpayer (I have worked and paid taxes literally every year since I was 13) and a responsible consumer of health care, I am suddenly drowning in hospital bills. It seems grossly unfair that if anything else happens to me, the money that I've worked so hard to save and invest will be wiped out.

As musicians, our savings are critical because some years we get paid and some years we don't. Maybe I should have blown it all on cocaine and vacations while I had the chance so that there wouldn't be anything to come after.

That's not even the end of it. My husband had to see a specialist which led to a common but expensive procedure and Tonik/Blue Cross is doing whatever it takes not to pay. At this point, they don't even pretend that there's a legitimate reason, they just won't pay. What is a person supposed to do in that case? The creditors are calling him and he HAS coverage.

I have always found it immoral that our health care system is a for profit business. It's so f**ked up that bean counters are making unilateral decisions - with zero regard for individual nuance - that dictate whether a person can get a basic need met. Medical care should be like eating or breathing. My bitterness is only exacerbated by the fact that so much of the extraordinary costs go toward the paperwork that gets shuffled back and forth, mostly in the service of insurance companies denying people coverage.

I know my situation is a bit boring and not as inflammatory as other people's stories, but it feels pretty all-encompassing to me. I wasn't outraged when I was over-insured, of course. I am pretty pissed now.

Ed. note: In a strange turn of events, this former frontperson of the seminal Boston band, Letters To Cleo, is now on tour singing back up for Miley Cyrus, aka Hannah Montana. She is writing about her experience at http://www.kayhanley.com/blog/. Also, here is a song from Kay's upcoming album "Weaponize." It was not written about her nightmare insurance experience, but it's called "It Hurts" and we thought that was appropriate.

Kay Hanley: " It Hurts " (MP3, 3:58)

Too Sleepy for Politics (Michelle's First Blog)

2008-02-25T14:59:00.000-08:00

(this was supposed to be Michelle's first post, but the video didn't work - Oct. 8, 2007)

I know it's a heated election year. I know that the news is fraught with Republican sex scandals, teenage idiots, celebrity suicide attempts, yada, yada, yada. So much to blog about... But I gotta be honest. I'm tired. I had a baby 4 months ago and while that's no one's fault but my own...man... it's exhausting.

I used to be up all hours - recording, playing late sets, hanging with the bands, etc and it was fine. I used to be able to function pretty well with little to no sleep. But this cumulative shit? Nightly wake ups at 12:30Am, then 3AM, then 5AM and so on.... It's bone crushing! And I have a really good baby (by most accepted good baby standards). He's always consolable - when he cries, he's either hungry or tired or bored, but usually... he's hungry. And that's where I come in.

So look, I know I'm not the first new parent to complain about the lack of sleep and I know I won't be the last, but here I am, surrounded by music and politics and politics and music and all I really care about is getting the baby to sleep so I can sleep too. I wrote him a lullaby and it seems to work. Jackson has what we call "the last gasp" - this bout of crazy loud wailing, like something is SO so wrong and the absolute WORST thing for him to do at that given moment is let himself fall asleep. And he'll be screaming and screaming with the volume on 11 and then boom, crash, bonk... he's out. Like a light. Sleeping like a baby. Etc.

This is for you, Jackson, my sweet boy.

First Blog of my Blog

2008-02-25T11:16:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted on Oct. 11, 2007 by Jill)

"If ever I would stop thinking about music and politics"
- The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy

I was an odd kid. In third grade, I'd run home after school to watch the Watergate hearings. And when it wasn't the break-in I was obsessed with, it was the latest issue of Rolling Stone or what guitar Keith Richards was using. True, I didn't have many friends in that period. Music and politics were it for me. In fact, the first song that I ever performed was John Prine's "Sam Stone", about a Vietnam Vet who comes back home a junkie. I played it for our eighth- grade Christmas play. Everyone asked, "why?"

To this day, many of my songs address social or political issues. Granted, my one semi-hit "I Kissed a Girl" was no "Blowin' in the Wind," but it actually was the first song on MTV that blatantly dealt with homosexual sex (even if it was just first base). The song was banned on many radio stations. There actually was one in Nashville that played it, but would start with a disclaimer, " this song has alternative lifestyle content, so if you have children or...".

Since then, I have been using my musical services (as I have no other marketable skills) for various good causes and organizations, such as the Drug Policy Alliance, FAMM, Code Pink, and others. Along the way, I toured and performed with other activist-minded artists like Tom Morello (Rage Against The Machine), Billy Bragg, Steve Earle, Cyndi Lauper, and Godsmack.

(Okay, Godsmack, to my knowledge, are not "progressives", but I did open for them once, sort of by mistake. Their audience didn't care for me much. It was just me onstage with my little folk guitar playing to a bunch of drunken frat boys yelling really mean things. I just thought I would mention that terrible night.)

When Yahoo Music asked me to write a blog, I thought, "What could I offer that would be different?" Since I spend way too much time consuming news & opinions, I thought I might as well put it to use? Why not combine the two things that interest me most in life -- music and politics-for my blog And I could also draw on my network of like-minded artist friends, all of whom, when asked, promised to help out.

Now, I don't want the blog to be about a few narrow issues. That would be boring. I think basically we can talk about anything we want here-from serious social issues, to the personal, to the ridiculous. For instance, I recently heard that Sting and his wife are swingers (gross).

So, this is the first blog of my blog for Yahoo blogs. Here goes...

Oh, and we made a theme song!

The Provocateurs: "The Provocateurs Theme Song " (MP3, 1:07)