So Long For Now, The Provacateurs

(Final post by Jill and Michelle on Feb 25, 2008)

Well, we kind of knew it was coming. We didn't quite fit. We were a square peg in a round hole (or is it the other way around). But it was a good idea --to mix music with politics and social issues. I knew we could never compete with the popularity of posts on, say American Idol or Britney (although I did do one semi-pandering one on her--and had to quote NPR, so as to not appear that…desperate), but we were happy to stay as long as we did.

I had a great time. Yahoo pretty much allowed us to write whatever we wanted--except for the dirty post by my friend Kevin, after the Larry Craig incident, on the etiquette and joys of gay public restroom sex. Admittedly it was a stretch.

I got to hear and converse with people that I would never, on my own blog, encounter. What's the point of preaching to the converted? On our last post on Evangelicals and gays, we did encounter some nut jobs, but we also heard from intelligent and thoughtful Christians. We actually had peaceful dialogue, which is so rare in these black and white days. And that's what I hoped to do. I learned so much from the commenters (by the way, is commenters a word? Spell check gets me anytime I type it).

So, I want to thank Yahoo (especially Bob), and all of you for these last six months. I learned; I had fun, and actually became sort of disciplined.

Don’t fret, for one day soon we shall rise like the Phoenix, rise like Lazarus, and rise like John Travolta did after he did Pulp Fiction. You have not heard the last of The Provocateurs. Or as a Martin Mull lyric goes:

“It's so hard to say Au Revoir

So Let's just say Hors D'ouerves."

In the meantime you can go to my myspace or jillsobule.com (on jillsobule.com there is no place to comment, but that will soon change). And don't forget jillsnextrecord.com (I might add a place to talk there too). I think I need to consolidate-–does anyone out there have any suggestions?

I will end with this song sung by Tom Waits:"somewhere "

And now, I will have Michelle Lewis, the other Provocateur, bid you a Yahoo Music goodbye.

Michelle?

Hi... I have the odd sensation of speaking at one's own funeral right now. Must shake that off ...

One of the many great things about being friends with Jill Sobule is that, when you're with her, you often end up someplace you never imagined being. My short list of random, unimaginable places includes an activist poetry reading, Norman Lear's private jet and a recording studio with Arianna Huffington. You get the picture...

So when Jill was over at my house last summer and was telling me about this music and politics blog she might be doing on Yahoo Music, I readily volunteered to help (did she even ask for help? my memory is fuzzy on this). I had no real blogging experience, but I did have a laptop and an opinion... about music...AND politics. Also, since I was on a kind of maternity leave from my "day job" as a pop songwriter, I knew I wasn't going a-n-y-w-h-e-r-e soon. Therefore, I could hold the fort and keep things rolling whenever Jill was on tour or something.

Looking back on the early Provocateurs' planning meetings with Yahoo, I realize now what we were thinking--we thought that getting a blog was like getting your own TV chat show or variety show. We thought ours would be like The Daily Show meets Donnie And Marie. We had big plans for regular segments, guest stars, video interludes and of course, a theme song. We are still the only blog on Yahoo Music with its own theme song--which I will post here one last time for posterity:

Jill Sobule & The Provocateurs: "The Provocateurs Theme Song " (MP3, 1:07)

I also remember our friends at Yahoo looking at us as the meetings progressed with somewhat concerned looks on their faces... as in... "You guys still don't really know what you're doing here? Do you?" Well, um, no. But we were having fun--making up songs about topical events and picking friendly fights with some of our more conservative readers (aaah, good times).We also were having some truly memorable conversations and meeting some truly wonderful folks.

Now that the Provocateurs, Part One is ending, I'm realizing that maybe Part Two SHOULD be a TV show!!! What do you think, Jill? Should we start pitching it?

OK, so while we're taking meetings at CAA, we'll also be archiving our 6 months of posts (and maybe posting some new ones) here.

Rock on....xoxo - Michelle

The worst lyrics ever and…The Provocateurs' Presidential endorsement

(Originally posted by Jill and Michelle on Feb 3, 2008)

I consider myself a pretty good lyricist, but I also know that I have probably written a couple of stinkers. Hopefully none of them are quite as wrong as these:

1.Sade's "Smooth Operator"

"Coast to coast
L.A. to Chicago"

(shouldn't that be...Coast to Great Lake?)

2. Madonna's "I Love New York"

"I don't like cities
But I like New York
Other places
Make me feel like a dork"

("dork" could be funny, but not by Madonna)

3. Barry Manilow's "Could it be Magic"

"Lady take me
high upon a hillside
High up where the stallion meets the sun"

(bad sexual pretty pony imagery)

4. Kiss's " C'Mon and Love Me"

"She's a dancer, a romancer/I'm a Capricorn
And she's a Cancer"

5. Paul Anka's "Having My Baby"

"Didn't have to keep it
Wouldn't put ya through it
You could have swept it from you life
But you wouldn't do it. No, you wouldn't do it
Having my baby"

Michelle adds:

6. Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps"

The line "my lovely lady lumps" made me gag a little every time.

7. Train's - "Meet Virginia"

"And she wants to be the queen
And she thinks about her scene
Pulls her hair back as she screams
I don't really wanna be the queen"

And that guy is also responsible for the most truly unforgivable line in "Drops of Jupiter" - "the best soy latte that you ever had and me."

8. Back Street Boys' - "I Want it That Way"

"Tell me why - Ain't nothing but a heartache
Tell me why - Ain't nothing but a mistake
Tell me why - I never wanna hear you say
I want it that way"

Um, what way?
Seriously, does this song make any sense to anyone? You know what? It isn't meant to. It is a well-known fact among us songwriters, that the president of the BSB's label made a major attempt at replacing those lyrics with ones that actually "meant something". The professionals were called in, one try got particularly close (by the guy who wrote "Genie in A Bottle,") but nothing beat the "English as a Second Language" lyric writing of the original Swedish songwriter. In fact, this could be a category unto itself - along with "Hit Me Baby One More Time" and "Since U Been Gone."

Finally, because our collective attention span is too short to even get to the requisite list number "10," we will turn to our friend Mike Daly for a few heavy metal gems -

9. Metallica's "For Whom the Bell Tolls"

"For a hill men will kill.
Why?"

10. Iron Maiden's "Only the Good Die Young"

"Measure your coffin,
Does in measure up to your lust?"

11 .And finally - W.A.S.P.'s "Evermore"

"Only those who stand within
Can hold the keys that let us in"

Deep.

We know it's hard to top, but we ask you, the readers, to go ahead and continue this list...
________________

And now, The Provocateurs are announcing their choice for President - Barak Obama! (like you didn't already know).

In the words of the recent LA Times endorsement:

"In the language of metaphor, Clinton is an essay, solid and reasoned; Obama is a poem, lyric and filled with possibility. Clinton would be a valuable and competent executive, but Obama matches her in substance and adds something that the nation has been missing far too long -- a sense of aspiration."

Again, lyrics come up - but good ones this time. Lyrics that can rouse the independent, the cynical artist and that ever-promising youth vote. We also think (and what do we know?) that he has a better chance of beating a Romney or McCain. So our decision is not just kumbaya, but strategic.

Our endorsement for Vice President: Hillary?

But of more importance is our choice for NFL champs - The NY Giants! We like the underdog.

added note: Sting's "If You Love Sombody Set Them Free" always skeeved me out. And a secret...I actually do like Manilow.

The Saddest Songs Ever

(Originally posted by Jill and Michelle on Jan 28, 2008)

I have asked my French friend, Yves, who has been sad more than a few times (he's French), what are his favorite songs of despair, isolation, and love gone horribly wrong.

Here's his list with some sad lyrics included:

1. Hank Williams -- Alone & Forsaken
"She promised to honor, to love and obey
Each vow was a plaything that she threw away.
The darkness is falling, the sky has turned gray
A hound in the distance is starting to bey
I wonder, I wonder - what she's thinking of
Forsaken, forgotten - without any love"

2. Bright Eyes - "messenger bird song"
"so you made me come_then you sent me away_like a messenger bird_and i circled the earth_blown away in the wind_but i always returned_with some new little song_some sad story to tell_of a brief love affair_with a girl I compared to you and she failed"

3. Buck Owens - "Cryin' Time"
"I can see that far away look in your eyes
I can tell by the way you hold me, darlin'
That it won't be long before it's cryin' time"

4. Leonard Cohen - "Famous Blue Raincoat"
"Ah, the last time we saw you, you looked so much older
Your famous blue raincoat was torn at the shoulder
You'd been to the station to meet every train
And you came home without lili marlene
And you treated my woman to a flake of your life
And when she came back she was nobody's wife"

5.Beach Boys - "In My Room"
"Now it's dark and I'm alone
But I won't be afraid
In my room, in my room"

6. Billy Bragg - "The Saturday Boy"
"She never came to the phone
She was always in the bath
In the end, it took me a dictionary
To find out the meaning of unrequited
While she was giving herself for free
At a party to which I was never invited
I never understood my failings then
And I hide my humble hopes now
Thinking back she made us want her
A girl not old enough to shave her legs"

7. Patsy Cline - "Walking After Midnight"
"I'm out walking after midnight
Out in the moonlight
Just hoping maybe
You're somewhere walking
After midnight, searching for me"

8. Loudon Wainwright III - "Motel Blues"
"I'll buy you breakfast,
They'll think you're my wife
Come up to my motel room
Save my life"

9. Billie Holiday - "I'll Be Seeing You"
"I'll find you
In the morning sun
And when the night is new
I'll be looking at the moon,
But I'll be seeing you"

10. Tom Waits - "9th & Hennpin"
"And the girl behind the counter has three tattooed tears 'One for every year he's away,' she says. There's nothing wrong with her that a hundred dollars won't fix. She has that razor sadness that only gets worse. With the clang and the thunder of the Southern Pacific going by"

11. Bob Dylan - "North Country Blues"
"The summer is gone,
The ground's turning cold,
The stores one by one
they're a-foldin'.
My children will go
As soon as they grow.
Well, there ain't nothing here
now to hold them"

12. Sam Cooke - "Lost & Looking"
"Crying for my baby, crying all alone
I'm lost and calling for my baby
Baby won't you please come home
I'm lost and calling for my baby
I need you 'cause I'm so alone"

And let's not forget Oscar Wilde's timeless words -
"...in the whole of celtic myth and legend where the loveliness of the world is shown through a veil of tears..."

Thank you Yves. Well, here's a semi-list of mine (in no particular order).

1.John Prine - "Hello in There"
"Ya' know that old trees just grow stronger,
And old rivers grow wilder ev'ry day.
Old people just grow lonesome
Waiting for someone to say, 'Hello in there, hello.'"

2. Ricki Lee Jones - "Skeletons"
"Some kids like watching Saturday cartoons
Some girls listen to records all day in their rooms
But what do birds leave behind, of the wings that they came with
If a son's in a tree building model planes?
Skeletons, Skeletons"

(I'm not sure what that all means, but it bums me out)

3. The 5th Dimension - "One Last Bell to Answer"
"One less bell to answer
One less egg to fry
One less man to pick up after
I should be happy
But all I do is cry"

(It's corny, pre-feminist, but that "one less egg" gets me everytime)

4. Radiohead - "No Surprises"

"I'll take a quiet life/A handshake, some carbon monoxide."

5. Ben Folds - "Fred Jones, part 2"
"there's an awkward young shadow who waits in the hall.
Yeah, he's cleared all his things and he's put them in boxes;
things that remind him that life has been good.
Twenty-five years, he's worked at the paper,
the man's here to take him downstairs;
and "I'm sorry, Mr. Jones, it's time"

6. George Jones - "He stopped Loving Her Today"
"He stopped loving her today
They placed a wreath upon his door
And soon they'll carry him away
He stopped loving her today"

7. Danny O'Keefe - "Outlaw"
"You can try to beat the odds
By never keeping score
You can meet the Stranger's stare
You can always face the door
But you can't be an Outlaw
If you ain't wanted anymore"

(ouch)


8. Peggy Lee - "Is That All There Is"
"I know what you must be saying to yourselves,
'if that's the way she feels about it why doesn't she just end it all?'
Oh, no, not me. I'm in no hurry for that final disappointment,
For I know just as well as I'm standing here talking to you,
When that final moment comes and I'm breathing my last breath,
I'll be saying to myself,
'Is that all there is?'"


9. Joni Mitchell - "Down To You"

"Love is Gone"

10. Flight of the Conchords - "I'm Not Crying"
"These aren't tears of sadness because you're leaving me
I've just been cutting onions.
I'm making a lasagna for one
Oh, I'm not crying. No.

I could include anything sung by Mark Eitzel, Elliot Smith and Karen Carpenter. There are so many more. I could go on all day.

How about your favorite sad songs?